Two and a Half Men Season 1 - Watch Online

Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episodes

Find out how to watch Season 1 of Two and a Half Men tonight

Two and a Half Men TV Listings Guide Seasons & Episodes Cast

Season 1 Episode Guide

Episode 1 - Pilot

Commercial jingle writer Charlie Harper (series star Charlie Sheen) is a wealthy bachelor with a house at the beach, a Jaguar in the garage and an easy way with women. But his Malibu lifestyle is interrupted when his uptight chiropractor brother, Alan (series star Jon Cryer), arrives unexpectedly with Alan's 10-year-old son, Jake (series star Angus T. Jones). Alan's wife, Judith (series star Marin Hinkle), suspecting that she may be gay, wants a divorce. Charlie reluctantly allows Alan and Jake to live with him temporarily, but as it becomes increasingly obvious that Judith is never going to relent, Charlie and Alan's self-obsessed, controlling unmarried mother, Evelyn (series star Holland Taylor), offers to let father and son live with her. However, by that time, Charlie has formed a close bond with the clever Jake, even learning a few things about poker from the boy. Charlie also finds out that pretending to be a single dad with a cute kid can be a great lure for women. Meanwhile, Charlie tries to evade Rose (series star MelanieE Lynskey), an attractive, offbeat neighbor who had a brief fling with him and remains determined to stay in his life by whatever means necessary. Missing Jake, Charlie surprises even himself and asks Alan and Jake to live with him permanently. Despite their strained relationship, the brothers discover that they have one thing in common: They both love Jake and want what's best for him. Together these two-and-a-half men face the challenges of growing up.

Episode 1 - Season 1, Episode 1: Pilot

Episode 2 - Big Flappy Bastards

Unsure how to properly discipline Jake, Charlie ignores him after the child "forgets" to stop feeding the seagulls and leaves the door open. As a result, the gaggle of birds enters the house. Meanwhile, Alan gets a surprise from Judith when he goes home to fix her sprinklers.

Episode 2 - Season 1, Episode 2: Big Flappy Bastards

Episode 3 - Go East On Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell

When Alan's attempt to provide Jake with a fun-filled father/son weekend backfires, Charlie tries to console his brother by taking him to a local bar and getting Alan totally inebriated. As Alan and Charlie travel home, their meddling Cab Driver (Darryl Sivad), hearing the brothers' woes about their narcissistic, controlling mother, offers them some unsolicited therapy.

Episode 3 - Season 1, Episode 3: Go East On Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell

Episode 4 - Season 1, Episode 4: If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song I'm Going to Take a Nap

Charlie's longtime cleaning lady, Berta (recurring guest star Conchata Ferrell), quits her job, and Charlie quickly realizes he can't function without her. When Alan tries to take Berta's place but doesn't succeed, Charlie sends him to lure her back. Meanwhile, Alan places Charlie in charge of getting Jake ready for Judith, who is coming to take her son out for a nice dinner with her parents. Rock star Steven Tyler of the band Aerosmith does a voice-over as himself.

Episode 4 - If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap

Episode 5 - Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up With a Hump

After a drunken night in Las Vegas, Charlie reluctantly attends one of Jake's soccer games. But Alan and Charlie soon discover the advantages of going to these matches. The players' mothers are quite attractive, and Charlie makes a date with a particularly sexy soccer mom. Meanwhile, when two single mothers discover that Alan is newly available, they "hit" on him--literally.

Episode 5 - Season 1, Episode 5: Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up with a Hump

Episode 6 - Season 1, Episode 6: Did You Check with the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?

Charlie rethinks the way he treats women when he, Alan and Jake are forced to cheer up a pitiful Evelyn after her serious new boyfriend terminates their relationship. Meanwhile, Charlie teaches Jake some valuable lessons about screening calls from women, but the lesson backfires when Jake reveals a little too much about what he's learned to a disapproving Alan.

Episode 6 - Did You Check With the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?

Episode 7 - Season 1, Episode 7: If They Do Go Either Way They're Usually Fake

Charlie's beautiful friend Cindy (Kristin Dattilo) frequently showers at Charlie's house after surfing. When Jake sees a butterfly tattoo on Cindy's partially nude behind and later draws a picture of it in his classroom, Judith gets angry and goes to talk with Alan and Charlie about letting her son see half naked women. To Alan's surprise, Judith and Cindy become friends. When Cindy teaches Judith how to surf, Alan wrongly suspects that the two women are sexually involved and confronts his estranged wife, who does not appreciate his assumptions. Meanwhile, Alan and Judith are both upset when Charlie teaches Jake about distinguishing women's fake implants from real breasts.

Episode 7 - If They Do Go Either Way They're Usually Fake

Episode 8 - Twenty-Five Little Pre-pubers Without a Snoot-ful

When Alan and Judith argue during a rehearsal of a play that Jake and his classmates are rehearsing, Charlie is forced to handle a roomful of fourth graders alone. The kids think Charlie is a loser until they realize he wrote the "Maple Loops" cereal jingle. When Charlie discovers the children know every jingle he's ever written, he decides to use his commercial expertise to craft the play--with some interesting results.

Episode 8 - Season 1, Episode 8: Twenty-Five Little Pre-pubers Without a Snoot-ful

Episode 9 - Season 1, Episode 9: Phase One Complete

Charlie likes his sweet new girlfriend, Wendy (Myndy Crist), but he becomes concerned when Jake forms a strong friendship with her. When Wendy charms Evelyn as well, Charlie worries that Wendy is expecting more from the relationship than he is and ends it. But when Jake gets mad at him, Charlie learns an important lesson. Meanwhile, Alan takes playing his board game very seriously when competing against Rose.

Episode 9 - Phase One, Complete

Episode 10 - Season 1, Episode 10: Merry Thanksgiving

When Charlie finds out that his favorite former girlfriend, Lisa (Denise Richards - "Scary Movie 3," "Undercover Brother"), is getting married, he desperately tries to prove to her that he has become a better family man than her fiancé, despite his inability to commit to her. He persuades Judith to bring her parents and Jake to his house for a big family Thanksgiving dinner, along with Alan, Evelyn, Rose and Charlie's irritable housekeeper, Berta (recurring guest star Conchata Ferrell). But with that bunch, Charlie can only carry on the charade for so long.

Episode 10 - Merry Thanksgiving

Episode 11 - Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor

Charlie and Jake convince Alan to get a makeover when it appears Judith is moving forward since the breakup, sporting a new hairdo and new date. Alan realizes he may truly be in need of a change when his own son tells him he doesn't look cool. But when Charlie takes Alan shopping, the brothers clash over what image is right for him. Meanwhile, highfalutin Evelyn remains at Charlie's house to bond with her grandson, Jake.

Episode 11 - Season 1, Episode 11: Alan Harper Frontier Chiropractor

Episode 12 - Camel Filters and Pheremones

When Charlie's cleaning woman, Berta (recurring guest star Conchata Ferrell), brings her sexy and rebellious 16-year-old daughter, Prudence (Megan Fox), to Charlie's house, Jake develops a childish infatuation with her--and Charlie and Alan try to restrain their interest in the flirtatious minor as well. Meanwhile, Rose's dream comes true when Charlie pretends that Rose is his girlfriend in order to fend off Prudence. And Judith fears that the guys' lifestyle is unacceptable for Jake.

Episode 12 - Season 1, Episode 12: Camel Filters and Pheremones

Episode 13 - Sarah Like Puny Alan

Alan worries that Charlie will become infected with Jake's contagious cold; however, Alan gets sick instead. Jake heals, and Charlie is fine. Desperate to get a date with a sexy woman, Charlie volunteers a very reluctant Alan to escort the woman's sister, turning the date into a foursome. Charlie tries to speed Alan's recuperation, but when Charlie gets ill and Alan discovers how attractive the sister is, their roles reverse. Meanwhile, Alan objects when Charlie takes advantage of having the same tastes in humor as his 10-year-old nephew.

Episode 13 - Season 1, Episode 13: Sarah Like Puny Alan

Episode 14 - Season 1, Episode 14: I Can't Afford Hyenas

When Charlie learns that his credit rating is ruined, and his debts are all overdue, he discovers that his accountant, Stan (Richard Lewis), is completely inept. At Alan's urging, Charlie tries to reduce his spending habits, but he has a difficult time giving up his luxuries. After the thought of borrowing from Evelyn becomes too much to bear, Charlie accepts help from an unlikely source. Meanwhile, Charlie teaches Jake the finer points of sports gambling--to Alan's consternation.

Episode 14 - I Can't Afford Hyenas

Episode 15 - Season 1, Episode 15: Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick

Charlie and Alan find Frankie (recurring guest star Jenna Elfman - "Dharma & Greg," "Looney Tunes: Back in Action"), a sexy but seemingly crazy woman, hitting a car with a baseball bat. Despite Alan's warnings, Charlie becomes totally infatuated with her. After they make a quick getaway from the parking garage where Alan accidentally set off the smashed car's alarm system, Charlie brings Frankie back to his Malibu home. Alan, wary of her at first, reconsiders when she compliments his career as a chiropractor. But the two brothers, both competing for her attention, are taken aback by a secret that she's been hiding.

Episode 15 - Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick

Episode 16 - That Was Saliva, Alan

Frankie (recurring guest star enna Elfman), the beautiful and intriguing lady whom Charlie and Alan brought home after finding her bashing her therapist's car with a baseball bat, explains why she's in hiding with her 8-year-old daughter, Joanie (recurring guest star Juliette Goglia). Both of the men are romantically interested in Frankie, and she reciprocates with one of the brothers. And Joanie likes Jake, who is completely disinterested in her.

Episode 16 - Season 1, Episode 16: That Was Saliva Alan

Frankie (recurring guest star Jenna Elfman), the beautiful and intriguing lady whom Charlie and Alan brought home after finding her bashing her therapist's car with a baseball bat, explains why she's in hiding with her 8-year-old daughter, Joanie (recurring guest star Juliette Goglia). Both of the men are romantically interested in Frankie, and she reciprocates with one of the brothers. And Joanie likes Jake, who is completely disinterested in her.

Episode 17 - Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats

Alan offends Charlie by choosing their crazy cousins as Jake's guardians if he and Judith were to die. Later, Alan does some errands and leaves Jake with Charlie, who's still sulking over Alan's will. As the two play basketball, Jake falls, hitting his head. Charlie rushes him to the emergency room and finds that his charm with women doesn't work with the admitting nurse. Charlie knows the stakes are high, as he must prove to Alan that he can be a responsible guardian.

Episode 17 - Season 1, Episode 17: Ate the Hamburgers Wearing the Hats

Episode 18 - An Old Flame With a New Wick

Charlie agrees to meet with a former girlfriend who ended their relationship years earlier, leaving Charlie devastated. But Charlie's in for a huge surprise when he discovers that she is now a he, and he, Bill (Chris O'Donnell - "Batman & Robin"), wants to be Charlie's friend. Initially disturbed by the sex change revelation, Charlie relents and befriends Bill. But Charlie and Alan are horrified when Bill starts dating their mother, and Evelyn becomes sexually intimate with Charlie's ex-girlfriend!

Episode 18 - Season 1, Episode 18: An Old Flame with a New Wick

Charlie agrees to meet with a former girlfriend who ended their relationship years earlier, leaving Charlie devastated. But Charlie's in for a huge surprise when he discovers that she is now a he, and he, Bill (Chris O'Donnel - "Batman & Robin"), wants to be Charlie's friend. Initially disturbed by the sex change revelation, Charlie relents and befriends Bill. But Charlie and Alan are horrified when Bill starts dating their mother, and Evelyn becomes sexually intimate with Charlie's ex-girlfriend!

Episode 19 - I Remember the Coat Room, I Just Don't Remember You

Judith's sinister-but-sexy sister, Liz (Teri Hatcher - "Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman," "Tomorrow Never Dies"), plans to attend Jake's 11th birthday party. Alan asks Charlie--who had sex with Liz in the coatroom at Judith and Alan's wedding--to behave. But when Liz arrives, she ignores Charlie and flirts with Alan instead. Liz proceeds to cause a commotion between her sister, whom she's never really gotten along with, and her ex-brother-in-law. Meanwhile, Evelyn forgets that it's cake, not alcohol, that's traditionally served at a child's birthday party, and she proceeds to party her own way.

Episode 19 - Season 1, Episode 19: I Remember the Coat Room I Just Don't Remember You

Episode 20 - Season 1, Episode 20: Hey I Can Pee Outside in the Dark?

Jake becomes a brooding musician when he continuously plays "Smoke on the Water" on his guitar with an ever-present grumpy attitude. In order to cheer him up, Alan tries a father/son chat, Charlie offers a jam session and Berta (recurring guest star Conchata Ferrell) just thinks the kid is constipated. Finally, Judith convinces Alan that Jake needs professional assistance, and they enlist the help of Dr. Linda Freeman (recurring guest star Jane Lynch - "Best in Show").

Episode 20 - Hey, I Can Pee Outside In the Dark

Episode 21 - No Sniffing, No Wowing

Alan takes Charlie to meet with his sexy and determined divorce attorney, Laura (Heather Locklear - "Spin City," "Melrose Place"), after Judith expresses concern that Charlie is a bad influence on Jake. Charlie and Laura begin a sexual relationship. Laura doesn't care that he dates other women, but she does have one request: Charlie must be available for her whenever she wants him. Charlie loves the idea--until Laura takes advantage of the situation. But when Charlie tries to get out of the arrangement, Alan suffers.

Episode 21 - Season 1, Episode 21: No Sniffing No Wowing

Episode 22 - Season 1, Episode 22: My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet

Alan succumbs to Judith's demand that they take Jake to therapy every week because "it's what all the other divorced parents are doing," but he doesn't realize that he, too, is having issues ... with sleepwalking. Evelyn hints to Charlie that Alan used to sleepwalk as a child, leading Charlie to come up with a clever new solution to Alan's recurring problem. Recurring guest star Jane Lynch ("Best In Show") returns as Jake's therapist, Dr. Linda Freeman.

Episode 22 - My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet

Episode 23 - Just Like Buffalo

When Jake imitates one of Charlie's sexist remarks in front of Judith's support group, the women decide that Charlie's home is an unfit environment for the child. With the women's approval, Judith agrees to let Alan see Jake on weekends, but not at Charlie's place. Charlie must cajole the support group in order to win his nephew back.

Episode 23 - Season 1, Episode 23: Just Like Buffalo

Episode 24 - Season 1, Episode 24: Can You Feel My Finger?

One of Charlie's many women fears she's pregnant, and Charlie is relieved when the lady finds out she's not. When Alan realizes that this is not Charlie's first pregnancy scare, he suggests a permanent solution for Charlie--a vasectomy. Charlie's doctor recommends freezing some sperm in case Charlie changes his mind about having children, but things don't go quite as planned.

Episode 24 - Can You Feel My Finger?

Episode 25 - Season 2, Episode 1: Back Off Mary Poppins

Charlie Harper (series star Charlie Sheen) is a well-to-do bachelor with a house at the beach, a Jaguar in the garage and an easy way with women. His casual Malibu lifestyle was interrupted when his tightly wound brother, Alan (series star Jon Cryer), and Alan's young son, Jake (series star Angus T. Jones), came to stay with him. Complicating matters further are Charlie and Alan's narcissistic, emotionally toxic mother, Evelyn (series star Holland Taylor--not appearing in this episode); Alan's deeply neurotic ex-wife, Judith (series star Marin Hinkle); Charlie's domineering, unapologetically blue-collar housekeeper, Berta (series star Conchata Ferrell--not appearing in this episode); and Rose (series star Melanie Lynskey), a brilliantly manipulative and vaguely crazy neighbor who had a brief fling with Charlie, remains obsessed with him and is determined to stay in his life by whatever means necessary.

Episode 26 - Season 2, Episode 2: Enjoy Those Garlic Balls

At Charlie's urging, Alan decides to put his past behind him and returns a ceramic giraffe he vindictively took from Judith during the divorce. However, Judith does not remember the keepsake, and more importantly she has an attentive new boyfriend, Dr. Melnick (Ryan Stiles - "The Drew Carey Show," "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"), who is Jake's pediatrician. Alan becomes even more depressed until Charlie reminds him that if Judith remarries, Alan won't have to pay alimony anymore. So, Alan awkwardly tries to encourage the relationship. Meanwhile, Evelyn questions an extremely uncomfortable Charlie as to why he hates her. Soon, Rose and Berta join the interrogation.

Episode 27 - Season 2, Episode 3: A Bag Full of Jawea

Jake thinks he's dreaming late one night when he sees the teacher who tried to get him suspended, Miss Pasternak (Missi Pyle - "Bringing Down the House"), practically naked in Charlie's kitchen. When Jake refuses to go to school the next day, Charlie agrees to end the relationship with Miss Pasternak. Unfortunately, she gets upset, and Charlie and Jake both suffer.

Episode 28 - Season 2, Episode 4: Go Get Mommy's Bra

Jake adores Judith's rich, new boyfriend because the man has a boat and a pool, and he promises to teach Jake how to snorkel and scuba dive. Feeling inadequate, Alan teaches his 11-year-old son how to drive a car. But when Judith's boyfriend ends the relationship, Jake becomes furious at his mother. Now it's Judith's turn to feel inadequate, and Alan does something he may regret.

Episode 29 - Season 2, Episode 5: Bad News from the Clinic?

Charlie dates a woman, Sherri (Jeri Ryan - "Boston Public," "Star Trek: Voyager"), who is a self-centered, manipulative narcissist--a female Charlie. But Charlie doesn't like the way Sherri treats him. Meanwhile, Alan tries to instill some discipline in Jake to improve his son's homework habits.

Episode 30 - Season 2, Episode 6: The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance

When Evelyn tells Jake that Alan shoplifted a toy as a child, Alan denies the charge, as he has ever since the incident took place. He finally admits to Charlie his theory that maybe there is a "Bad Alan"--an evil side of him that stole the toy--which the good side of him works daily to suppress. Charlie feels guilty and admits to planting the toy on him, destroying the brothers' relationship--until Evelyn offers to get involved.

Episode 31 - Season 2, Episode 7: A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana

In order to serve as a good example to Jake, who has been disrespectful lately to his mother, Charlie and Alan begrudgingly agree to give their own mother a party to celebrate her real estate achievements. Berta suggests they hire her sister, Daisy (Camryn Manheim - "The Practice"), who owns a catering company. But having recently split from her husband, an emotionally unhinged Daisy throws a party that is unforgettable for all the wrong reasons.

Episode 32 - Season 2, Episode 8: Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers

Alan's expectations for a first date with Nancy (Kelley West), a woman he met while shopping for groceries, are far exceeded when she introduces him to a world of sex he never knew existed. Charlie is happy that his brother is getting to experience the kind of sex life he's always enjoyed, but he's not thrilled to take responsibility for Jake while Alan has his every fantasy fulfilled. When Alan starts thinking he loves this woman, Charlie realizes he must take action.

Episode 33 - Season 2, Episode 9: Yes Monsignor

Charlie encounters Lisa (recurring guest star Denise Richards, series star Charlie Sheen's real-life wife), the woman he thought was "the one" until she informed him of her engagement another man. He's thrilled to learn that her marriage did not work out, even though there's now a new wrinkle in their potential relationship--a baby (played by Sheen and Richards' daughter, Sam, in her first screen appearance).

Episode 34 - Season 2, Episode 10: The Salmon Under My Sweater

Charlie writes the theme song for a new cartoon based on one of Jake's favorite comics, but Jake hates the song. Realizing that Jake knows the comic better than he does, Charlie enlists his nephew's help. Meanwhile, Rose invites Alan to a movie and surprises him with her intellect.

Episode 35 - Season 2, Episode 11: Last Chance to See Those Tattoos

Charlie is surprised when a woman, Gail (Jodi Lyn O'Keefe - "Nash Bridges"), with whom he flirts in a bar, rejects his overtures and tells him that women around town have been comparing notes on his philandering. Later, Jake mentions that he did an Internet search on Charlie's name and found something interesting. When Charlie logs on, he finds out that he's the subject of a very uncomplimentary new website called www.charlieharpersucks.com.

Episode 36 - Season 2, Episode 12: A Lungful of Alan

Jamie (Paget Brewster - "Huff," "Friends"), Alan's close high school friend, visits Alan at the house. Charlie used to make fun of Jamie when they were teenagers, but when the two brothers see how attractive she is now, they both vie for her affections. However, Jamie has a plan of her own.

Episode 37 - Season 2, Episode 13: Zejdz Zmoich Wlosow (Get Off My Hair)

When an earthquake causes plumbing damage in Judith's home, Alan allows her to move into the beach house temporarily--much to Charlie's displeasure. After a few days, Charlie and Jake can no longer bear Judith's presence, and though he pretends otherwise, Alan is jealous when Judith goes on a date with another man. He gets so upset that he goes to stay at Judith's house until Charlie arranges a date for Alan with a very beautiful and very young woman. Seeing Alan with this sexy girl, Judith quickly packs her belongings and returns to her own home. But unfortunately for Charlie, he's going to have to keep paying the young lady big money because Alan really likes her.

Episode 38 - Season 2, Episode 14: Those Big Pink Things with Coconut

After Evelyn undermines Jake's confidence by belittling his hard-earned high grade on a test, Alan decides to cut her out of their lives. When Charlie and Alan receive news that Evelyn is in the hospital, they realize it's a ploy for her to get back into their lives. They decide to play along, pretending to schedule her for heart surgery, but they don't realize that Evelyn is still one step ahead of them.

Episode 39 - Season 2, Episode 15: Smell the Umbrella Stand

On a boring, rainy weekend, Charlie convinces Alan to ride with Jake and him to Las Vegas. Apprehensive about his upcoming colonoscopy, Alan agrees that the diversion will be good for him. After Alan packs numerous suitcases, and the guys are ready to leave, Jake becomes physically ill. Judith visits the house and then forbids Alan to take Jake anywhere without her permission. Alan and Charlie want to defy Judith, but when Jake becomes ill again, the two brothers realize they must be responsible adults and stay home.

Episode 40 - Season 2, Episode 16: Can You Eat Human Flesh with Wooden Teeth?

Judith takes a vacation and leaves Jake with Alan. But then Alan finds out he's being audited by the Internal Revenue Service. Burdened with this last-minute misfortune, he's forced to leave Jake in Charlie's irresponsible hands and hopes that his brother can get Jake to school.

Episode 41 - Season 2, Episode 17: Woo-Hoo a Hernia Exam!

While in a precarious position with a woman, Charlie injures his back and won't let Alan--a chiropractor--help him. After Alan drives Charlie to the doctor's office, Charlie is surprised to learn that his physician died four years ago, and a beautiful female, Dr. Michelle Talmadge (Alicia Coppola - "Bull"), has replaced him. Meanwhile, Berta teaches Jake a lesson.

Episode 42 - Season 2, Episode 18: It Was 'Mame' Mom

Charlie masquerades as a homosexual so that Eric (David Starzyk), the gay owner of an advertising agency, will continue to give Charlie more jingles to write. Charlie convinces Alan to pretend to be his gay partner and attend a party hosted by Eric. At the party, Charlie is immediately attracted to Pamela (Lucy Lawless - "Xena: Warrior Princess")--who is convinced Charlie is gay even after he confesses the truth. But the pressure of trying to prove his heterosexuality to Pamela proves too much for Charlie to overcome.

Episode 43 - Season 2, Episode 19: A Low Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise

While at a coffee shop, Alan and Charlie encounter Sherri (recurring guest star Jeri Ryan - "Boston Public"), a woman who once dated Charlie just so she could have sex with him. Alan is enchanted with her beauty, so Charlie encourages Alan to ignore his memories of teenage rejection and ask her on a date. Alan's befuddled approach is surprisingly successful because Sherri no longer wants shallow, purely sexual relationships and is hoping to experience a deeper, more caring connection. Unfortunately, during his date with Sherri, Alan can't seem to get thoughts of Charlie with Sherri off his mind.

Episode 44 - Season 2, Episode 20: I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey

Evelyn harasses Charlie for not calling her, and Judith bills Alan for an expensive pair of tennis shoes she bought Jake. Unable to express the anger they have towards the women in their lives, Charlie and Alan lash out at each other. Rose--with her questionable background in behavioral psychology--tries to help the two brothers sort out their feelings.

Episode 45 - Season 2, Episode 21: A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On

While scanning the obituaries for potential property listings, Evelyn discovers that her second husband, Harry, has died. Although pleased that Alan agrees to attend the funeral with her, she's furious to hear that he had stayed in contact with Harry over the years. Evelyn then reveals to her sons that she didn't actually leave Harry, but that he left her--for a younger woman. Charlie and Jake also attend the funeral. And Evelyn learns a surprising new detail about her ex-husband.

Episode 46 - Season 2, Episode 22: That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother

After Evelyn gives Alan a loan so he can purchase a new Porsche, Charlie informs his brother that Alan has sold his soul to the devil. Evelyn proves Charlie is right when she coerces Alan to go on a double date with Trudy (Chloe Webb - "China Beach," "Sid and Nancy")--whose father Evelyn wants as a boyfriend. But Evelyn and Trudy's dad never show up at the restaurant, leaving Alan alone with Trudy. And Alan learns things about his date that he'd rather not know.

Episode 47 - Season 2, Episode 23: Squab Squab Squab Squab Squab

When Evelyn learns that Jake spent his entire spring vacation with his other grandparents, she pressures Alan into letting Jake stay with her for a night. Concerned that Evelyn will destroy Jake's life the way she destroyed theirs, Alan and Charlie grudgingly take a resentful Jake to Evelyn's home and quickly flee to Charlie's favorite bar. There, amid a bevy of sexy female volleyball players, Alan easily forgets about his son's miserable circumstance.

Episode 48 - Season 2, Episode 24: Does This Smell Funny to You?

Charlie has sex with a gorgeous young woman, Natalie (Karen Trella), without realizing she's married to an elderly man, Norman (Orson Bean - "Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman"). At school, Jake is required to give a report to his fifth-grade class about his weekend. He recalls that he was eating breakfast when an old man came to the house looking for his wife. From there, Jake's perspective of the weekend's events departs from what really happened at the Harper home.

Episode 49 - Season 3, Episode 1: Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts

Charlie Harper is a well-to-do bachelor with a house at the beach, a Mercedes in the garage and an easy way with women. His casual Malibu lifestyle was interrupted when his tightly wound brother, Alan, and Alan's young son, Jake, came to stay with him a couple of years ago. Complicating matters further are Charlie and Alan's narcissistic, emotionally toxic mother, Evelyn; Alan's deeply neurotic ex-wife, Judith ; Charlie's domineering, unapologetically blue-collar housekeeper, Berta & Rose , a brilliantly manipulative and vaguely crazy neighbor who had a brief fling with Charlie, remains obsessed with him and is determined to stay in his life by whatever means necessary. Despite the complexities of their lives and their own strained relationship, Charlie and Alan have one thing in common: They both love Jake and want what's best for him. As a result, they manage to create a little family unit that promises to make each one of them a better man.

Episode 50 - Season 3, Episode 2: Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover

When Jake's school principal demands to meet immediately with Alan concerning a picture Jake drew of a large-breasted schoolmate, Alan leaves a phone message asking Charlie to help, but Charlie doesn't respond. After Alan accuses him of "not being there for him," Charlie agrees to answer phones at Alan's chiropractic office, where Charlie proceeds to hire a "masseuse" to help out with the practice. Meanwhile, before the principal determines Jake's fate, she makes Alan meet the classmate's mother--whom Alan tries hard not to offend.

Episode 51 - Season 3, Episode 3: Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark

Charlie is dismayed to learn that Alan's recent dating spree has been with Alan's ex-wife, Judith. Charlie fears he will rarely get to see Jake if Alan and Judith reconcile. So Charlie does everything in his power--including trying to distract Alan with beautiful women (Former Playboy Playmates Sandy and Mandy Bentley)--to keep the two apart. As it turns out, Charlie underestimates his brother's ability to screw things up on his own.

Episode 52 - Season 3, Episode 4: Your Dismissive Attitude Towards Boobs

Alan infuriates Charlie when he gives Berta permission to move into the beach house for a couple of days. Charlie reprimands Alan and informs him that he's just a houseguest and doesn't have the right to allow Berta to stay with them. Hurt by Charlie's reaction, Alan decides that he and Jake need to move into their own place. But after he returns from apartment hunting with their mother, Alan begs Charlie to let him and Jake remain. Neither man realizes that Berta goaded the brothers into the argument so she could permanently move in with Charlie.

Episode 53 - Season 3, Episode 5: We Called It Mr. Pinky

After a woman Charlie has been having sex with professes her love for him, he responds inappropriately and suffers from impotence. Later, Rose explains that Charlie's inability to have a long-lasting relationship is due to unresolved issues with his mother. Meanwhile, much to Alan's chagrin, Jake approaches Charlie for relationship advice regarding a girl at school who likes him.

Episode 54 - Season 3, Episode 6: Hi Mr. Horned One

Charlie is thrilled that he's dating Isabella (Jodi Lyn O'Keefe - "Nash Bridges"), a wild, sexually uninhibited woman--until Alan points out that she's a spooky Satan worshiper. Charlie is unfazed by Alan's warnings until Isabella threatens to put a curse on his manhood.

Episode 55 - Season 3, Episode 7: Sleep Tight Puddin' Pop

Charlie finds himself in a compromising position after getting drunk and spending the evening with his stalker, Rose, celebrating her birthday. He ends up being confronted by her father, Harvey (Golden Globe and Emmy Award winner Martin Sheen - "The West Wing"), who demands to know Charlie's intentions towards Rose.

Episode 56 - Season 3, Episode 8: That Voodoo That I Do

After Charlie's romantic overtures towards Mia (recurring guest star Emmanuel Vaugier - "Smallville," "One Tree Hill," "Saw II"), an attractive ballet teacher, are rejected, Charlie tries to prove to Alan that he can persuade Mia to go on a date with him. Charlie cons Jake into taking her ballet class so Charlie can get close to her, but his plan is derailed when Jake becomes infatuated with her.

Episode 57 - Season 3, Episode 9: Madame and Her Special Friend

A wealthy, elderly woman named Norma (Academy Award and multiple Emmy Award winner Cloris Leachman - "Malcolm in the Middle," "Spanglish") is romantically interested in Alan.

Episode 58 - Season 3, Episode 10: Something Salty and Twisted

Alan organizes a family dinner to celebrate the publication of a newspaper article that describes him as a "good doctor, good neighbor and a good guy," but he's crushed when his mother, Evelyn, isn't impressed. After getting drunk, Alan experiences a life-changing epiphany and vows to a skeptical Charlie that he is no longer going to grovel for validation from his mother and the other women in his life.

Episode 59 - Season 3, Episode 11: Santa's Village of the Damned

When Alan dates a cooking instructor, Sandy (Josie Davis - "Beverly Hills 90210"), both he and Charlie gain weight. But even as it becomes clear that Sandy is mentally unstable, Charlie refuses to allow Alan to break up with her, fearing the loss of her fabulous meals. Meanwhile, as usual, the brothers agonize over whether or not to visit their mother for Christmas.

Episode 60 - Season 3, Episode 12: That Special Tug

Charlie and Alan take Jake to a friend's house and go out for some sibling bonding at the movies, but their night is ruined when Alan freaks out after convincing himself that Jake was too eager to spend the weekend away from him. Recognizing that desperate times call for desperate measures, Charlie begins seeing a psychiatrist, Dr. Linda Freeman (Jane Lynch -- "The 40-Year-Old Virgin"), ostensibly to learn how to cope with his brother's ever-increasing emotional instability.

Episode 61 - Season 3, Episode 13: Humiliation Is a Visual Medium

No one believes Charlie when he says that his relationship with Mia (recurring guest star Emmanuelle Vaugier) is getting serious, and everyone really thinks he's lying when he confesses that he and Mia have been dating for more than a month and haven't consummated the relationship. After a continuing series of chaste dates--walking on the beach, visiting an art gallery, going bowling--that end with Charlie frustrated at Mia's doorstep, he makes a proposal that threatens their burgeoning romance.

Episode 62 - Season 3, Episode 14: Love Isn't Blind It's Retarded

After a month and a half of abstinence, Charlie is quite eager to consummate his relationship with Mia (recurring guest star Emmanuelle Vaugier). Unfortunately, there are still a few roadblocks, including Charlie's oversexed ex-girlfriend, Kandi (recurring guest star April Bowlby), and Mia's parents. When the big day finally comes, Charlie worries that he may not be at the top of his game. Meanwhile, Alan discovers the joys of dating Kandi, although intellectually she may have more in common with Jake.

Episode 63 - Season 3, Episode 15: My Tongue Is Meat

Charlie can't keep pace with the healthy routine that Mia has introduced into their relationship, so he sneaks cigars and beers in the garage and enlists Rose to deliver burgers to him on the sly. When Mia catches him lying, Charlie has to figure out if he is truly in love with her.

Episode 64 - Season 3, Episode 16: Ergo the Booty Call

Concerned that he is dating a woman half his age--and mortified to introduce her to Evelyn--Alan tries to avoid bringing his sexy 22-year-old girlfriend, Kandi (recurring guest star April Bowlby), to Jake's birthday party. Meanwhile, Rose continues her passive-aggressive pursuit of Charlie.

Episode 65 - Season 3, Episode 17: The Unfortunate Little Schnauzer

When he is nominated for an advertising award, Charlie boycotts the banquet, having lost several years in a row to his cocky competitor, Archie (Jon Lovitz - "Saturday Night Live," "Happiness"). After devising a ploy to get him to attend, Alan, Evelyn and Jake accompany Charlie for support--but then they get to know Archie. Meanwhile, Rose talks Charlie into giving relationship advice to her new beau.

Episode 66 - Season 3, Episode 18: The Spit-Covered Cobbler

Alan gets into financial trouble because he keeps paying the expenses of his young girlfriend, Kandi (recurring guest star April Bowlby). When Kandi's old car breaks down, Alan leases a new one for her. Charlie warns him to break up with her, but Alan spends his last dime on Kandi's root canal and can't pay alimony to Judith, forcing Charlie to cover for him.

Episode 67 - Season 3, Episode 19: Golly Moses She's a Muffin

Kandi (recurring guest star April Bowlby) moves in with Alan and Charlie, causing tension in the house. Charlie's not happy to learn of the new arrangement, considering he himself has been having a dry spell with women. Things begin to look up for Charlie, however, when Judith befriends Kandi, and a special visitor comes knocking on his door. Recurring guest star Gail O'Grady ("Hot Properties," "American Dreams," "NYPD Blue") appears as Kandi's mother, Mandi.

Episode 68 - Season 3, Episode 20: Always a Bridesmaid Never a Burro

Charlie is now dating Kandi's (recurring guest star April Bowlby) mother, Mandi (recurring guest star Gail O'Grady). Meanwhile, Alan is depressed because Kandi has left him and is staying with bitter Judith, who brainwashed her against him. At Mandi's urging, Alan goes to Judith's place to try to win Kandi back. Also, Kandi introduces Judith to Kandi's father, Andy (Kevin Sorbo - "Hercules: The Legendary Journeys," "Andromeda").

Episode 69 - Season 3, Episode 21: And the Plot Moistens

Jake's teacher, Francine (Julia Campbell), calls Alan and Judith into her classroom to discuss Jake's lack of interest in school. Desperate to communicate with someone intelligent while continuing to see his airhead girlfriend, Kandi (recurring guest star April Bowlby), Alan falls for Francine--in a platonic way. Meanwhile, after Alan and Judith force Jake to try out for the school musical, Charlie helps him prepare.

Episode 70 - Season 3, Episode 22: Just Once with Aunt Sophie

When a cute girl from Jake's school invites Jake to a party, Charlie butts in on Alan's milestone moment with his son by offering his own words of wisdom on women. While Alan feels somewhat jealous that Charlie is taking over, he realizes he also feels envious that his son is receiving some solid advice on scoring with women that he wishes his brother had taught him.

Episode 71 - Season 3, Episode 23: Arguments for the Quickie

When Charlie finds out that his ex-girlfriend, Mia (recurring guest star Emmanuelle Vaugier), is in town with her dance troupe and wants him to come to her performance, he opts not to go and tries to behave as if he were no longer attracted to her. After surprising Alan--and himself--by showing up at the dance performance, Charlie gets another surprise when Mia explains that she wants something personal from him: his sperm. Shockingly, commitment-phobic Charlie responds by asking Mia for something as well.

Episode 72 - Season 3, Episode 24: That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite

With Charlie and Mia (recurring guest star Emmanuelle Vaugier) arranging their wedding, their families meet, and things immediately begin to fall apart. Rose takes Charlie's engagement news hard and makes some interesting plans of her own. There is also the question of where Alan and Jake will live after Charlie and Mia get married. Ultimately, Charlie and his bride-to-be end up deciding on a small ceremony in Vegas--but the surprises don't end there.

Episode 73 - Season 4, Episode 1: Working for Caligula

In the season premiere, Charlie deals with the immediate aftermath of his canceled wedding--and Alan's impulsive new marriage to 22-year-old Kandi (series star April Bowlby). Still in Las Vegas, Alan and his materialistic bride find out that Alan's lucky streak is not over when he wins $500,000 on one play of a slot machine. Four months later, Alan visits his brother's home to find that Charlie is taking full advantage of having the house all to himself. But Alan has some life-altering news to share: he's getting divorced.

Episode 74 - Season 4, Episode 2: Who Is This Vod Kanockers?

Alan feels guilty when Charlie finally tells him why he broke up with Mia. The truth is that Charlie and Mia didn't get married because she had wanted Alan and Jake to move out. Meanwhile, problems arise when Charlie and his famous rock star neighbor, Steven Tyler (himself) of Aerosmith, don't get along.

Episode 75 - Season 4, Episode 3: The Sea Is a Harsh Mistress

Charlie attempts to surf in order to impress a beautiful girl--with disastrous results. Later, after nearly drowning, he tells Alan that when Charlie's life was hanging in the balance, the guys' deceased father appeared to him and made a request that Charlie is reluctant to fulfill.

Episode 76 - Season 4, Episode 4: A Pot-Smokin' Monkey

Alan and Kandi become embroiled in an unconventional custody battle. Alan is determined to retain custody of his and Kandi's dog after Kandi walks away from their split with both the condominium and the car. Having also lost everything to Judith following their divorce, Alan decides to hire the best lawyer he knows--Judith's.

Episode 77 - Season 4, Episode 5: A Live Woman of Proven Fertility

Alan is overjoyed that he'll no longer owe Judith alimony when she marries her new fiancé, Herb (recurring guest star Ryan Stiles - "The Drew Carey Show"). However, when Judith and Herb's marriage plans are threatened due to Jake's disdain for his soon-to-be stepfather, Alan enlists Charlie's help, and the guys bond with Herb in an effort to improve his relationship with Jake.

Episode 78 - Season 4, Episode 6: Apologies for the Frivolity

Although Charlie doesn't get along with his sharp-tongued, passive- aggressive mother, he is strangely attracted to Lydia (recurring guest star Katherine LaNasa - "Justice"), a blonde high-end real estate agent--which is exactly what his mother is. Unfortunately, the similarities don't end there, and the relationship soon begins to seem a little too familiar for comfort.

Episode 79 - Season 4, Episode 7: Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head

When Berta swears vengeance on the married man who got her daughter, Naomi (recurring guest star Sara Rue), pregnant, she forces Charlie to come with her. Meanwhile, Naomi helps Berta with the housework. And Alan reveals an unusual fetish.

Episode 80 - Season 4, Episode 8: Release the Dogs

Unable to sleep, Alan takes Charlie's suggestion and goes for a jog on the beach. After his run takes a disastrous turn, Alan turns to a psychiatrist in the hope that discovering the source of his insomnia will help alleviate it. Meanwhile, Jake pleads with Charlie not to date the hot mother of a classmate whom Jake likes.

Episode 81 - Season 4, Episode 9: Corey's Been Dead for an Hour

During a double date, Charlie becomes annoyed with Alan for constantly borrowing money and promising to pay the tab "next time." When Alan leaves Charlie with the check after dinner, Charlie tries to beat him at his own game. Meanwhile, while the men are out, Jake gets to see what it's like to be home alone.

Episode 82 - Season 4, Episode 10: Kissing Abe Lincoln

Charlie must choose between his girlfriend Lydia (recurring guest star Katherine LaNasa) and Berta as they fight for his allegiance, each thinking the other has crossed the line. Meanwhile, Alan wants to sell an overpriced condominium that he and Kandi bought when they were married, but Kandi uses her assets to distract him.

Episode 83 - Season 4, Episode 11: Walnuts and Demerol

As Charlie prepares for a steamy Christmas Eve alone with his date, his friends and family keep dropping in--and staying--until Charlie finds himself hosting an unplanned, unwanted holiday party. Upon discovering whom Charlie's new girlfriend is, Evelyn inexplicably becomes desperate to break them up before they go too far in their relationship. Susan Sullivan ("Dharma & Greg") guest stars as Dorothy, the mother of Charlie's date. Recurring guest star Ryan Stiles appears as Judith's fiancée, Herb.

Episode 84 - Season 4, Episode 12: Castrating Sheep in Montana

When Berta discovers that Alan has been secretly dating her daughter, Naomi (recurring guest star Sara Rue), Alan expects trouble. But Berta's reaction is surprising--and much worse--than Alan could have imagined.

Episode 85 - Season 4, Episode 13: Don't Worry Speed Racer

Jake tells Charlie and Alan that he often overhears Judith and her fiancé, Herb (recurring guest star Ryan Stiles), having sex, and he formulates a theory as to why his mom constantly gives Herb directions in bed. Meanwhile, Rose (recurring guest star Melanie Lynskey) helps Charlie work through a disturbing repressed memory, triggered by Jake's revelation.

Episode 86 - Season 4, Episode 14: That's Summer Sausage Not Salami

After getting to know Danielle (Brooke Shields - "Nip/Tuck," "Suddenly Susan"), the guys' hot new neighbor, Charlie discovers that she shares some common interests with Alan and proceeds--with ulterior motives--to set them up. But when things begin to heat up between Alan and Danielle, Charlie becomes jealous and attempts to sabotage the relationship.

Episode 87 - Season 4, Episode 15: My Damn Stalker

When Rose announces that she is moving to London permanently, Charlie doesn't listen at first. But he eventually realizes that he must face his true feelings for her. Meanwhile, Alan tries online dating--with unforeseen results. After exaggerating while writing his profile on an internet dating service, Alan attracts a fellow profile embellisher, Beverly (Allison Janney - "The West Wing").

Episode 88 - Season 4, Episode 16: Young People Have Phlegm Too

A sexy young girl whom Charlie has been dating cajoles him into going to a hot new club and bringing Alan along to meet her friend. But when they arrive, Charlie and Alan are mortified to learn that the partygoers consider them old. Morgan Fairchild ("Falcon Crest") guest stars as Donna, a more mature woman who helps rebuild Charlie's ego.

Episode 89 - Season 4, Episode 17: I Merely Slept with a Commie

After Alan and Charlie tell Evelyn that none of her acquaintances will mourn her when she dies, she bitterly ignores them for a few weeks. The guys then discover that, instead of trying to be more pleasant to the people she knows, Evelyn has brought together a whole new group of "friends," including two men and a cute boy who seem suspiciously like adoring versions of Charlie, Alan and Jake. Meanwhile, Jake develops an interesting new way of speaking.

Episode 90 - Season 4, Episode 18: It Never Rains in Hooterville

When Jake starts covering his walls with posters of sexy women, Alan realizes that his son is almost grown up. He makes a last-minute attempt at father-son bonding, wanting to make the most of what little childhood Jake has left. Meanwhile, Kandi embarks on a new career as an actress.

Episode 91 - Season 4, Episode 19: Smooth As a Ken Doll

As Judith and Herb's (recurring guest star Ryan Stiles) wedding nears, Charlie gets close to Herb's witty sister, Myra (recurring guest star Judy Greer - "Arrested Development"). But Charlie's flirtation does not please Judith, who orders Alan to make Charlie stop pursuing Myra.

Episode 92 - Season 4, Episode 20: Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot

While Alan prepares Jake for Judith's wedding, Charlie continues his fling with Herb's (recurring guest star Ryan Stiles) sister, Myra (recurring guest star Judy Greer). Besides Judith's disapproval of the relationship, Charlie gets a surprise from Myra after admitting that he truly likes her.

Episode 93 - Season 4, Episode 21: Tucked Taped and Gorgeous

When Greg (Matt Roth), a single father from Alan's support group who has been spending a lot of time with Alan, reveals that he is gay, Charlie suspects that Greg is attracted to Alan. Alan initially refuses to believe that his friendship with Greg is anything romantic, but he soon questions his own sexuality--as does Charlie. Meanwhile, Jake is too clueless to realize that Greg's young daughter is flirting with him.

Episode 94 - Season 4, Episode 22: Mr. McGlue's Feedbag

Jake experiences a windfall when Charlie takes him to the racetrack. Meanwhile, Alan is stuck in a hellish Department of Motor Vehicles office. Series star Jon Cryer made his directorial debut with the episode. Joel Murray ("Dharma & Greg") guest stars as Petey.

Episode 95 - Season 4, Episode 23: Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-Lookin'

Charlie loses a woman he is dating to a young, handsome handyman, Fernando (Grammy Award-winning recording artist Enrique Iglesias), who is working on Charlie's house. Meanwhile, to Alan's consternation--and no one's surprise--Jake finds out that he must attend summer school because of his poor grades.

Episode 96 - Season 4, Episode 24: Prostitutes and Gelato

Charlie and Alan must confront their "daddy issues" when Evelyn's new boyfriend, Teddy (Robert Wagner - "Hart to Hart"), invites them to Las Vegas on his private jet. Mike Connors ("Mannix") guest stars as Hugo.

Episode 97 - Season 5, Episode 1: Large Birds Spiders and Mom

In the fifth season premiere, Charlie and Alan try to prepare Jake for his first day of junior high school -- but they might end up traumatizing him instead.

Episode 98 - Season 5, Episode 2: Media Room Slash Dungeon

Charlie reacts oddly after an evening with his mother. And Alan's date, Sharon (Janeane Garofalo - "The Larry Sanders Show," "The West Wing"), reacts oddly after having sex with Alan.

Episode 99 - Season 5, Episode 3: Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo

Tired of dating vapid young women, Charlie allows Alan to introduce him to a sophisticated, intelligent municipal court judge, Linda (recurring guest star Ming Wen - "ER," "The Joy Luck Club"). Unfortunately, intimidated Charlie behaves so badly at dinner that Linda refuses to see him again -- until he ends up in her court. Meanwhile, Jake won't stop talking on his cell phone.

Episode 100 - Season 5, Episode 4: City of Great Racks

In the landmark 100th episode, Charlie gets closer to consummating his relationship with Linda (recurring guest star Ming Wen), but he keeps seeing Rose's (former series star Melanie Lynskey) face everywhere he turns. Recurring guest star Jane Lynch appears as Dr. Freeman.

Episode 101 - Season 5, Episode 5: Putting Swim Fins On a Cat

Charlie has to find creative ways to entertain the 4-year-old son of his girlfriend, Linda (recurring guest star Ming Wen). Meanwhile, Alan becomes a human "guinea pig."

Episode 102 - Season 5, Episode 6: Help Daddy Find His Toenail

Charlie's girlfriend, Linda (recurring guest star Ming Wen), is embarrassed to be seen in public with him. Meanwhile, despite Alan forbidding it, Jake sneaks out to a concert.

Episode 103 - Season 5, Episode 7: Our Leather Gear Is in the Guest Room

Charlie and Alan argue over Alan's place in the house, prompting Alan and Jake to move in with Evelyn. Recurring guest star Robert Wagner appears as Teddy, Evelyn's boyfriend.

Episode 104 - Season 5, Episode 8: Is There a Mrs. Waffles?

Charlie finds success as a children's singing star, making Alan miserable. Guest star Richard Kind ("Spin City") appears as Artie, an executive at Charlie's record label.

Episode 105 - Season 5, Episode 9: Tight's Good

After Evelyn and Teddy (recurring guest star Robert Wagner - "Hart to Hart," "Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me") become engaged, Charlie struggles to fight his attraction to Teddy's daughter, Courtney (guest star Jenny McCarthy - "Scary Movie 3," "Dirty Love"), Charlie's soon-to-be stepsister.

Episode 106 - Season 5, Episode 10: Kinda Like Necrophilia

While trying to help Jake get over a breakup, Alan discovers that it was Charlie who stole his high school girlfriend. Alan seeks revenge on Charlie by following the same advice Charlie dispenses to Jake.

Episode 107 - Season 5, Episode 11: Meander to Your Dander

Seeing Alan not fully passionate about his relationship, Charlie coaches Alan in the fine art of breaking up with a woman.

Episode 108 - Season 5, Episode 12: A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh

Rose (recurring guest star Melanie Lynskey), Charlie's lovable stalker, is back from England and takes strange care of a very sick Charlie.

Episode 109 - Season 5, Episode 13: The Soil Is Moist

Alan dates one of his ex-wife's friends who reveals a secret about Judith's sex life. Recurring guest star Ryan Stiles appears as Judith's second husband.

Episode 110 - Season 5, Episode 14: Winky-Dink Time

Charlie goes with Jake on a double date and sets Alan up with a prostitute. Recurring guest star Melanie Lynskey appears as Rose.

Episode 111 - Season 5, Episode 15: Rough Night in Hump Junction

Alan worries that Charlie's womanizing is out of control. Jane Lynch returns as Charlie's therapist, and Emmanuelle Vaugier returns as Charlie's former fiancée, Mia.

Episode 112 - Season 5, Episode 16: Look At Me Mommy I'm Pretty

Alan plans Evelyn's wedding to Teddy (Robert Wagner), while Charlie pursues his future stepsister and Teddy's devious daughter, Courtney (Jenny McCarthy).

Episode 113 - Season 5, Episode 17: Fish in a Drawer

A CSI team investigates a mysterious death at Charlie's house. George Eads ("CSI: Crime Scene Investigation") makes a cameo appearance.

Episode 114 - Season 5, Episode 18: If My Hole Could Talk

Charlie finds himself attracted to Angie (recurring guest star Susan Blakely), an older woman who writes self-help books. Meanwhile, Alan and Jake battle over a school assignment.

Episode 115 - Season 5, Episode 19: Waiting for the Right Snapper

Charlie tries to resist temptation when he meets the grown daughter of the woman he's dating (Susan Blakely) and realizes they've met before. Jane Lynch guest stars as Dr. Freeman.

Episode 116 - Season 6, Episode 1: Taterhead Is Our Love Child

In the sixth season premiere, Charlie encounters an ex-girlfriend (Rena Sofer “24”) whose son looks an awful lot like him. Martin Mull ("Roseanne") guest stars as Charlie's pharmacist.

Episode 117 - Season 6, Episode 2: Pie Hole Herb

Alan (series star Jon Cryer) lends Charlie money and crosses a line in his attempts to get it back.

Episode 118 - Season 6, Episode 3: Damn You Eggs Benedict

Charlie tries cooking, Alan tries dating two women at the same time and Jake (series star Angus T. Jones) tries beer.

Episode 119 - Season 6, Episode 4: The Flavin' and the Mavin'

Charlie romances Alans sweet receptionist (guest star Kelly Stables) as Alan anxiously awaits disaster.

Episode 120 - Season 6, Episode 5: A Jock Strap in Hell

The guys bump into Jake's former teacher, Miss Paternak (guest star Alicia Witt) who became a stripper after a fling with Charlie. Charlie tries to help her out by giving her a room and a job, but things spiral out of control.

Episode 121 - Season 6, Episode 6: It's Always Nazi Week

When Judith (series star Marin Hinkle) kicks Herb (recurring star Ryan Stiles) to the curb, Alan comes knocking.

Episode 122 - Season 6, Episode 7: Best H.O. Money Can Buy

Alan tries to escape Judiths grasp as Charlie and Herb go on the prowl.

Episode 123 - Season 6, Episode 8: Pinocchio's Mouth

Charlies new girlfriend, Chelsea (guest star Jennifer Taylor) asks him to spend the night at her place, while Alan tries to enforce a punishment on Jake.

Episode 124 - Season 6, Episode 9: The Mooch At the Boo

Jake disappears with the daughter of Charlie's neighbor, a former NFL player (guest star Michael Clarke Duncan), and Charlie is left to cover his back.

Episode 125 - Season 6, Episode 10: He Smelled the Ham He Got Excited

Evelyn offers to pay for Jake's college education, leaving Alan to wonder if he ever needs to work again.

Episode 126 - Season 6, Episode 11: The Devil's Lube

One of Charlies old partners in crime dies, leaving Charlie to reevaluate his own reckless lifestyle. Charlie Sheens brother Emilio Estevez guest stars as Charlies old friend Andy, along with Oscar® nominee James Earl Jones as himself.

Episode 127 - Season 6, Episode 12: Thank God for Scoliosis

Charlie and Jake fight for the affections of a waitress (guest star Emily Rose), while Alan fights sexual tension with his receptionist, Melissa (guest star Kelly Stables). Multiple Emmy® Award winner Carol Kane (“Taxi”) guest stars as Melissas mother.

Episode 128 - Season 6, Episode 13: I Think You Offended Don

Judith is pregnant with a baby girl and Alan is convinced that he is the father. Meanwhile, Jake is in a contentious mood and Charlie thinks he knows why.

Episode 129 - Season 6, Episode 14: David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie

Convinced that Alans family doesnt fully appreciate him, Melissa (guest star Kelly Stables) invites Alan to live with her and her mom (guest star Carol Kane).

Episode 130 - Season 6, Episode 15: I'd Like to Start with the Cat

Charlie finds himself in couples counseling.

Episode 131 - Season 6, Episode 16: She'd Still Be Dead At Halftime

Charlie has to remove a half-naked woman (guest star Diora Baird) from his bedroom before Chelsea (guest star Jennifer Taylor) arrives.

Episode 132 - Season 6, Episode 17: The 'Ocu' or the 'Pado'?

Charlie tells Chelsea (guest star Jennifer Taylor) that he loves her, but doesn’t get the response he expects.

Episode 133 - Season 6, Episode 18: My Son's Enormous Head

Chelsea gets sick – and Charlie wants nothing to do with her.

Episode 134 - Season 6, Episode 19: The Two Finger Rule

Charlie joins Alan, Herb and his neighbor (Michael Clarke Duncan) in a night of alcohol-fueled sexual reminiscences after Chelsea finds nude pictures of another woman on his phone.

Episode 135 - Season 6, Episode 20: Hello I Am Alan Cousteau

Evelyn finally meets Chelsea and Charlie – then tries to prevent them from becoming friends.

Episode 136 - Season 6, Episode 21: Above Exalted Cyclops

Chelsea sets Alan up on a blind date with her new friend… Rose (guest star Melanie Lynskey)!

Episode 137 - Season 6, Episode 22: Sir Lancelot's Litter Box

After Charlie reluctantly agrees to let Chelsea move in and he mourns the loss of his bachelor pad, Alan finds that there's not much space left for him in the house. Series star Jon Cryer directs.

Episode 138 - Season 6, Episode 23: Good Morning Mrs. Butterworth

When Alan and Chelsea become best friends, Charlie decides to take advantage of the situation.

Episode 139 - Season 6, Episode 24: Baseball Was Better with Steroids

On the sixth season finale, Charlie starts to question his relationship with Chelsea when he hears that Mia (guest star Emmanuelle Vaugier) is back in town. Meanwhile, Judith goes into labor and Charlie, Alan and Herb rush her to the hospital.

Episode 140 - Season 7, Episode 1: 818-jklpuzo

On the seventh season premiere, Charlie (series star Charlie Sheen) must decide between his fiancée, Chelsea (recurring guest star Jennifer Taylor), and his old flame, Mia (recurring guest star Emmanuelle Vaugier). Rock superstar Eddie Van Halen makes a cameo appearance as himself.

Episode 141 - Season 7, Episode 2: Whipped Unto the Third Generation

When Charlie’s fiancée, Chelsea, convinces him to let Melissa (recurring guest star Kelly Stables), Alan’s girlfriend, move in, the girls take over the house.

Episode 142 - Season 7, Episode 3: Mmm Fish. Yum.

Alan (series star Jon Cryer) plays nursemaid to Judith’s baby and her tipsy mother, Lenore (recurring guest star Annie Potts). Meanwhile, Jake (series star Angue T. Jones) blackmails Charlie with an incriminating photo.

Episode 143 - Season 7, Episode 4: Laxative Tester Horse Inseminator

Alan takes a job working for Evelyn (series star Holland Taylor), and Charlie is forced to mend Chelsea and Jake's rocky relationship.

Episode 144 - Season 7, Episode 5: For the Sake of the Child

Jake refuses to stay with Charlie and Alan after they embarrass him in public.

Episode 145 - Season 7, Episode 6: Give Me Your Thumb

Alan recommends that Chelsea get breast reduction surgery and Charlie kicks him out.

Episode 146 - Season 7, Episode 7: Untainted By Filth

Charlie and Alan wake up together in bed with a strange woman.

Episode 147 - Season 7, Episode 8: Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle

Chelsea invites her beautiful college roommate (guest star Tricia Helfer – Battlestar Galactica) to stay at the house while she gets over a bad breakup.

Episode 148 - Season 7, Episode 9: Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair

Charlie is crushed when he discovers he hasn't been satisfying Chelsea and Alan attempts to cure his thinning hair on the cheap.

Episode 149 - Season 7, Episode 10: That's Why They Call It 'Ball Room'

Charlie discovers that Chelsea hasn’t been completely honest about her finances.

Episode 150 - Season 7, Episode 11: Warning It's Dirty

Charlie coaches Jake on the art of infidelity while his girlfriend is away for Christmas. Legendary Television Producer/Writer/Actor Carl Reiner guest stars as “Marty Pepper,” a famous TV producer whom Evelyn invites to Charlie’s for Christmas dinner.

Episode 151 - Season 7, Episode 12: Fart Jokes Pie and Celeste

Jake writes love songs to woo his ex-girlfriend, and Herb and Alan hide their secret friendship from Judith's watchful eye.

Episode 152 - Season 7, Episode 13: Yay No Polyps!

Charlie endures a colonoscopy to get out of a trip to see Chelsea's bigoted parents (guest stars Stacy Keach and Meagen Fay), only to return home and find them in his living room.

Episode 153 - Season 7, Episode 14: Crude and Uncalled For

Alan ends up in jail after a bar fight, and Charlie worries that Chelsea might be interested in the lawyer who takes the case (Steven Eckholdt).

Episode 154 - Season 7, Episode 15: Aye Aye Captain Douche

Charlie’s jealousy threatens his relationship with Chelsea.

Episode 155 - Season 7, Episode 16: Tinkle Like a Princess

Charlie runs off to Vegas and returns with a new wife…but she’s not Chelsea! Stacy Keach returns as Chelsea’s father and John Amos guest stars as his boyfriend.

Episode 156 - Season 7, Episode 17: I Found Your Moustache

Charlie and Chelsea have a post-breakup one-night stand. Stacy Keach returns as Chelsea’s father and John Amos guest stars as his boyfriend.

Episode 157 - Season 7, Episode 18: Ixnay On the Oggie Day

Charlie has a return engagement with Chelsea's best friend, while Alan has an unexpected effect on a new female patient. Tricia Helfer returns as Chelsea’s best friend and Frances Fisher guest stars as Alan’s patient.

Episode 158 - Season 7, Episode 19: Keith Moon Is Vomiting in His Grave

Jake's new friend, Eldridge (guest star Graham Patrick Martin), is a bad influence but Alan really likes his hot mom, Lyndsay (guest star Courtney Thorne-Smith).

Episode 159 - Season 7, Episode 20: I Called Him Magoo

Alan tries for an intimate night at a hotel with his new girlfriend (Courtney Thorne-Smith), while Charlie takes a different approach to obtain the "girlfriend experience."

Episode 160 - Season 7, Episode 21: Gumby with a Pokey

Alan and Jake go on a road trip while Charlie is visited by the ghosts of girlfriends past – including guest stars Katherine LaNasa, Ming Na, Emmanuelle Vaugier, Rachel Cannon, Aja Evans, Magdalena Holland, Rebecca McFarland, Katy Mixon, Jodi Lyn O'Keefe, Missi Pyle and Rena Sofer. ZZ TOP also makes a special appearance as themselves, while Martin Mull returns as Charlie’s pharmacist Russell.

Episode 161 - Season 7, Episode 22: This Is Not Gonna End Well

After Charlie’s license is suspended, Jake becomes Charlie’s driver. And much to Charlie’s chagrin, Alan makes plans to attend Chelsea’s birthday party on the seventh season finale. Stacy Keach and John Amos return as Chelsea’s father and his boyfriend.

Episode 162 - Season 8, Episode 1: Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud

On the eighth season premiere, Jake (series star Angus T. Jones) finds out that Alan (series star Jon Cryer) has been dating Eldridge's mom (recurring guest star Courtney Thorne-Smith), so he packs up and heads to Judith (series star Marin Hinkle) and Herb's (recurring guest star Ryan Stiles). Meanwhile, Charlie (series star Charlie Sheen) decides it's time to cut back on boozing.

Episode 163 - Season 8, Episode 2: A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer

When Lindsey asks Alan to move in with her, Charlie will do anything to get Alan to say "yes!"

Episode 164 - Season 8, Episode 3: A Pudding-filled Cactus

Alan moves in with Lyndsey but continues to have a rendezvous with Melissa at Charlie's house.

Episode 165 - Season 8, Episode 4: Hookers Hookers Hookers

Lyndsey and Eldridge move into Charlie's house after Alan burns down their home. Judd Nelson (Suddenly Susan, St. Elmo’s Fire) guest stars as Lyndsey’s ex-husband.

Episode 166 - Season 8, Episode 5: The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel

Alan goes out on the town pretending to be Charlie while Charlie sneaks off for some cosmetic surgery.

Episode 167 - Season 8, Episode 6: Twanging Your Magic Clanger

Charlie has trouble adjusting to dating a slightly older woman (guest star Liz Vassey – CSI: Crime Scene Investigation).

Episode 168 - Season 8, Episode 7: The Crazy Bitch Gazette

Charlie's past comes back to bite him when his girlfriend (Liz Vassey) decides that his longtime stalker, Rose (guest star Melanie Lynskey), is just too much to handle.

Episode 169 - Season 8, Episode 8: Springtime On a Stick

Charlie and Alan try to set up their mother with Russell, the pharmacist (returning guest star Martin Mull).

Episode 170 - Season 8, Episode 9: A Good Time in Central Africa

When Berta takes a couple of days off, Charlie falls for her replacement (guest star Tonita Castro). Meanwhile, Alan believes he's being stalked by Lyndsey's ex-husband. Courtney Thorne-Smith returns as Alan’s former girlfriend, Lyndsey and Judd Nelson returns as her ex-husband.

Episode 171 - Season 8, Episode 10: Ow Ow Don't Stop

Charlie goes on a spending spree for his old fling, Courtney (guest star Jenny McCarthy), who shows up after three years in prison for conning him out of money. Guest star Carl Reiner returns as Marty, Evelyn’s old fling.

Episode 172 - Season 8, Episode 11: Dead from the Waist Down

Alan is ashamed that he can't afford to buy Lyndsey a birthday present, so he gets creative. Jenny McCarthy returns as Charlie’s girlfriend.

Episode 173 - Season 8, Episode 12: Chocolate Diddlers

When Charlie and Courtney break up, Charlie falls into a depression and goes to see his psychiatrist, Dr. Freeman (guest star Jane Lynch).

Episode 174 - Season 8, Episode 13: Skunk Dog Crap and Ketchup

When Charlie and Lyndsey start becoming friendly, Alan’s paranoia gets the best of him.

Episode 175 - Season 8, Episode 14: Lookin' for Japanese Subs

Charlie's obsession with the newly "married" Rose leads him to stalk her. Meanwhile, Alan grows concerned when Jake and Eldridge start videotaping stupid and extremely dangerous stunts.

Episode 176 - Season 8, Episode 15: Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak

In an attempt to grow his business, Alan inadvertently starts a Ponzi scheme using his friends and family as investors. Charlie’s love for Rose only deepens as they continue their torrid “affair.”

Episode 177 - Season 8, Episode 16: That Darn Priest

Rose uncovers Alan's Ponzi scheme and Alan, in turn, meets "Manny," Rose's mannequin "husband." Meanwhile, Charlie is eager to get some alone time with Rose.

Episode 178 - Season 9, Episode 1: Nice to Meet You Walden Schmidt

All is revealed in the ninth season premiere when Ashton Kutcher joins the cast as Walden Schmidt, an Internet billionaire with a broken heart.

Episode 179 - Season 9, Episode 2: People Who Love Peepholes

Guest star Judy Greer is introduced as Bridget, Walden’s ex-wife in the second part of the ninth season premiere.

Episode 180 - Season 9, Episode 3: Big Girls Don't Throw Food

Alan prepares Walden for a date with Bridget, while Jake decides to emulate Walden and drop out of school.

Episode 181 - Season 9, Episode 4: Nine Magic Fingers

Trying to rebound from his recent separation, Walden goes looking for Mrs. Right, while Alan has an opportunity to reconcile with his on-again, off-again girlfriend Lyndsey (guest star Courtney Thorne-Smith).

Episode 182 - Season 9, Episode 5: A Giant Cat Holding a Churro

While Alan struggles to come to terms with Lyndsey’s risqué movie past, Walden tries to cheer him up by throwing a party at the house.

Episode 183 - Season 9, Episode 6: The Squat and Hover

Walden receives divorce papers from Bridget, but forgets his depression when he meets a girl who looks eerily like her. Joe Manganiello (True Blood) guest stars as Bridget’s new beau, Alex and Jane Lynch (Glee) returns as therapist, Dr. Freeman.

Episode 184 - Season 9, Episode 7: Those Fancy Japanese Toilets

Jake has a crush on his chemistry tutor (guest star Macey Cruthird)…who has a crush on Walden. Meanwhile, Alan obsesses over the journal his brother left him in his will.

Episode 188 - Season 9, Episode 11: A Lovely Landing Strip

Walden is trying his best to impress his new love interest, Zoey, when Bridget reappears in his life. Melanie Lynskey returns as Rose.

Episode 189 - Season 9, Episode 12: One False Move Zimbabwe!

Walden’s mother, Robin (guest star Mimi Rogers) arrives and Alan is smitten with her – even as she reveals a secret about Walden’s past that sends him into a downward spiral.

Episode 190 - Season 9, Episode 13: Slowly and in a Circular Fashion

When Walden’s ex-wife and his mother try to take control of his company and vote him off the board, Walden enlists Alan as an ally in the boardroom battle.

Episode 191 - Season 9, Episode 14: A Possum On Chemo

Zoey tries to coerce Walden into cutting his hair and shaving, while Alan rekindles his relationship with Lyndsey.

Episode 192 - Season 9, Episode 15: The Duchess of Dull-in-Sack

Walden tries to loosen up Zoey by sharing a couple of Berta’s “special” brownies. Matthew Marsden guest stars as Zoey’s ex-husband, Nigel.

Episode 193 - Season 9, Episode 16: Sips Sonnets and Sodomy

Strained relationships and girl-fighting result when a huge storm traps Walden, Alan, Zoey and Lyndsey in the house on Valentine’s Day.

Episode 194 - Season 9, Episode 17: Not in My Mouth

Walden and Zoey's relationship has a few ups and downs after they share a near-death experienc...and Walden shares his true feelings. Meanwhile, Alan wonders if Lyndsey has a drinking problem.

Episode 195 - Season 9, Episode 18: The War Against Gingivitis

Things get tense in the Malibu house when Walden’s estranged ex-business partner, Billy (guest star Patton Oswalt), shows up looking to bury the hatchet with a money-making idea. Will their combustible relationship get in the way of their success? Meanwhile, a lonely Alan pays a visit to Berta.

Episode 196 - Season 9, Episode 19: Palmdale Ech

Alan and Lyndsey introduce their mothers (Holland Taylor and Georgia Engel) to one another, so that they can have more time together. Meanwhile, Jake and Eldridge enlist Walden to drive them to a high school house party that they never find.

Episode 197 - Season 9, Episode 20: Grandma's Pie

Walden breaks the news to Zoey that he is going into business with his ex-wife. Meanwhile, Alan and Lyndsey try to come to terms with their moms’ new relationship.

Episode 198 - Season 9, Episode 21: Mr. Hose Says 'Yes'

Walden’s commitment is tested when Zoey and her daughter come to live with him – for a trial run. Meanwhile, Alan gets more than he bargained for when he moves in with Lyndsey.

Episode 199 - Season 9, Episode 22: Why We Gave Up Woman

Academy Award® winner Kathy Bates guest stars as the ghost of Charlie Harper who pays a visit to Alan’s hospital bedside after Alan suffers a minor heart attack.

Episode 200 - Season 9, Episode 23: The Straw in My Donut Hole

On the 200th episode, Alan is showered with love and affection upon returning from the hospital, but Zoey isn’t so sure it’s deserved. Jason Alexander (Seinfeld) guest stars as Alan’s cardiologist.

Episode 201 - Season 9, Episode 24: Oh Look! Al-Qaeda!

Jake is pressured to make a decision about his future on the ninth season finale. Comedian Patton Oswalt returns as Walden’s ex-business partner, Billy.

Episode 202 - Season 10, Episode 1: I Changed My Mind About the Milk

On the tenth season premiere, Walden plans a big surprise for Zoey (recurring guest star Sophie Winkleman) on her birthday. Grammy winner Michael Bolton guest stars as himself, while True Blood’s Brit Morgan guest stars as a woman Walden meets at a bar.

Episode 203 - Season 10, Episode 2: A Big Bag of Dog

Following his break-up with Zoey, Walden has a breakdown.

Episode 204 - Season 10, Episode 3: Four Balls Two Bats and One Mitt

Alan and Lyndsey (recurring guest star Courtney Thorne-Smith) decide to spice things up in the bedroom.

Episode 205 - Season 10, Episode 4: You Know What the Lollipop Is For

Walden starts to feel his age when a friend’s daughter comes to town. Actress Miley Cyrus guest stars as Missi, the friend who comes to visit for a week and develops a relationship with Jake when he comes home from the Army.

Episode 206 - Season 10, Episode 5: That's Not What They Call It in Amsterdam

Despite Alan’s warnings, Walden starts dating Rose (recurring guest star Melanie Lynskey).

Episode 207 - Season 10, Episode 6: Ferrets Attack!

Walden asks Rose to move in, but she feels that it’s too early in their relationship. When Zoey tells Walden that she wants to get back together, however, he has to choose between Rose and Zoey…before it’s too late.

Episode 208 - Season 10, Episode 7: Avoid the Chinese Mustard

Tired of the complications of a traditional relationship, Walden hires an actress (guest star Lindsay Price) to play the part of his girlfriend. But when he starts falling for her, he can’t tell if she really has feelings for him or is just acting. Meanwhile, Jake and Missi (Miley Cyrus) surprise Walden and Alan when they plan a weekend rendezvous at the beach house. Too bad, the Army is looking for him as well.

Episode 209 - Season 10, Episode 8: Something My Gynecologist Said

Alan is hesitant to make a serious commitment to Lyndsey (recurring guest star Courtney Thorne-Smith), but gets inspiration from an unlikely source. Meanwhile, Walden enjoys being a boy-toy for a rich older woman.

Episode 210 - Season 10, Episode 9: I Scream When I Pee

Alan’s “smokin’ hot,” famous ex-wife Kandi (guest star April Bowlby) wants him back. Meanwhile, Berta isn’t interested in celebrating her birthday… until Walden helps make it special.

Episode 211 - Season 10, Episode 10: One Nut Johnson

When Alan helps Walden create a new identity in order to find a woman who isn’t just after his money, he encounters a new love interest (guest star Brooke D’Orsay).

Episode 212 - Season 10, Episode 11: Give Santa a Tail-hole

Walden juggles having two identities – rich man and poor man – and “Sam Wilson” gets a new job during the holiday season, while Alan finds himself alone at Christmas.

Episode 213 - Season 10, Episode 12: Welcome to Alancrest

Using Walden’s money, Alan invests in Kate’s fashion line. Meanwhile, leading a double life starts to take its toll on Walden.

Episode 214 - Season 10, Episode 13: Grab a Feather and Get in Line

Walden and Alan visit Kate’s fashion show in New York so Walden can reveal the truth about his identity. What revealed, however, is a Broadway-style song and dance performance.

Episode 215 - Season 10, Episode 14: Run Steven Staven! Run!

Alan and Lyndsey’s relationship is strained when he won’t give her a key to the beach house. Meanwhile, Walden, Billy and Herb (recurring guest star Ryan Stiles) commiserate about women and relationships. Willie Garson guest stars as Dr. Steven Staven, Lyndsey’s gynecologist who takes her on a date.

Episode 216 - Season 10, Episode 15: Paint It Pierce It or Plug It

Alan has concerns when Jake returns home with Tammy (guest star Jaime Pressly), his 36-year-old girlfriend that he’s madly in love with. Meanwhile, Walden struggles to keep a secret from Alan.

Episode 217 - Season 10, Episode 16: Advantage: Fat Flying Baby

Depressed about being single on Valentine’s Day, Walden tries to convince Kate to give him another chance. Meanwhile, Alan’s all-out Valentine’s Day plans for Lyndsey take a turn for the worse.

Episode 218 - Season 10, Episode 17: Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries

When Walden runs into his ex-wife Bridget at a high-end singles mixer, they talk about getting back together. But Alan feels that she might not be good for Walden.

Episode 219 - Season 10, Episode 18: The 9:04 from Pemberton

Alan moves out after he and Walden get into a fight over a broken toaster. After Alan moves in with Herb, Walden feels bad and tries to apologize. But Herb gets in the way… because he doesn’t want to lose his new roommate.

Episode 220 - Season 10, Episode 19: Big Episode. Someone Stole a Spoon

Boys Gone Wild! Walden and Alan try to cheer up a lonely Herb, but end up living it up a little too large.

Episode 221 - Season 10, Episode 20: Bazinga! That's from a TV Show

When Jake cheats on his girlfriend Tammy (Jaime Pressly) with her 18-year-old daughter, Ashley (guest star Emily Osment) Alan and Walden get caught in the crossfire. Scott Bakula guest stars as Ashley’s ex-boyfriend Jerry.

Episode 222 - Season 10, Episode 21: Another Night with Neil Diamond

Alan is devastated when Lyndsey breaks up with him, leaving Walden struggling to find a way to help him get back on his feet.

Episode 223 - Season 10, Episode 22: My Bodacious Vidalia

Alan gets a “breakover” (i.e. post-breakup makeover)! When Walden encourages a depressed Alan to update his look and start dating again, Alan faces a moral dilemma when he attracts a married woman.

Episode 224 - Season 10, Episode 23: Cows Prepare to Be Tipped

Even though Walden’s dating a hot 22-year-old woman (guest star Hilary Duff), he finds himself more attracted to her worldly grandmother, Linda (guest star Marilu Henner). Meanwhile, Alan and Jake go on a father-son bonding trip on the tenth season finale.

Episode 225 - Season 11, Episode 1: Nangnangnangnang

On the eleventh season premiere, Alan and Berta (series star Conchata Ferrell) are shocked when Charlie’s long-lost illegitimate daughter (Tamblyn) shows up at Walden’s beach house to connect with what’s left of her family. Having moved to LA to pursue acting, 25-year-old Jenny likes everything her dad liked… including women.

Episode 226 - Season 11, Episode 2: I Think I Banged Lucille Ball

When Walden feels cramped in his own house, Jenny moves in with Evelyn (recurring star Holland Taylor) and her wealthy boyfriend, Marty (recurring guest star Carl Reiner). Meanwhile, Alan becomes Lyndsey’s “other man.”

Episode 227 - Season 11, Episode 3: This Unblessed Biscuit

Walden (series star Ashton Kutcher) and Alan think it may be time for Berta (series star Conchata Ferrell) to retire when she injures her back at work.

Episode 228 - Season 11, Episode 4: Clank Clank Drunken Skank

Walden starts partying with Jenny and her hot friends. Meanwhile, Alan and Lyndsey’s illicit affair is jeopardized.

Episode 229 - Season 11, Episode 5: Alan Harper Pleasing Women Since 2003

Alan befriends Lyndsey’s boyfriend Larry (guest star D.B. Sweeney) in an effort to find out what he has that Alan doesn’t. Meanwhile, Walden helps Jenny be more proactive in pursuing her acting career.

Episode 230 - Season 11, Episode 6: Justice In Star-Spangled Hot Pants

When Alan learns Walden knows Wonder Woman‘s Lynda Carter (guest starring as Herself), he asks him to set him up on a date with her. Against his better judgment, Walden agrees to invite her to the house for dinner. Mimi Rogers returns as Walden’s mother, Robin.

Episode 231 - Season 11, Episode 7: Some Kind of Lesbian Zombie

Walden and Alan find themselves on dates with two ideal women until Lyndsey’s jealousy throws a wrench in their evening. Jeff Probst makes a guest appearance as himself.

Episode 232 - Season 11, Episode 8: Mr. Walden He Die I Clean Room

When Larry hires a private investigator to follow Lyndsey, he tracks her to the beach house. But when Larry thinks that she’s having an affair with Walden, Alan has to figure out how to clear Walden’s name without outing himself. Recurring guest star Melanie Lynskey returns as the neighborhood stalker Rose, who offers to help Walden out of his dilemma.

Episode 233 - Season 11, Episode 9: Numero Uno Accidente Lawyer

Walden’s date with a gorgeous, accident-prone underwear model (guest star Kate Miner) goes on much longer than he expected. Meanwhile, Alan dates a woman who shares some surprising personal information with him.

Episode 234 - Season 11, Episode 10: On Vodka On Soda On Blender On Mixer!

Walden helps Jenny get a second date with a one-night stand (guest star Aly Michalka) and Alan’s transgender girlfriend’s ex-wife (guest star Diane Farr) hits on him. Meanwhile, in the spirit of the holidays, Alan receives a Japanese delicacy from Jake for Christmas, and Walden’s Malibu house is alive with questionable Christmas carol lyrics. Paula Marshall returns as Alan’s transgender girlfriend, Paula.

Episode 235 - Season 11, Episode 11: Tazed In the Lady Nuts

Walden joins his beautiful former employee, Nicole (guest star Odette Anable) on a brilliant new project. Meanwhile, Alan advises Jenny to open up to her girlfriend Brooke (guest star Aly Michalka) or risk losing her.

Episode 236 - Season 11, Episode 12: Baseball. Boobs. Boobs. Baseball.

Alan lets Lyndsey’s boyfriend Larry set him up on a date, while Walden offers to help Nicole with her software project, so that she will have the time to date him.

Episode 237 - Season 11, Episode 13: Bite Me Supreme Court

After multimillionaire Marty Pepper proposes to Evelyn, Walden and Alan throw him a bachelor party with several of his old friends (comedy legends Tim Conway, Steve Lawrence and Garry Marshall guest star) who help him celebrate his last days of bachelorhood.

Episode 238 - Season 11, Episode 14: Three Fingers of Crème de Menthe

After Alan learns that Lyndsey broke up with Larry and didn’t tell him, he makes a big decision. Meanwhile, Walden sets out to prove that he’s a man’s man.

Episode 239 - Season 11, Episode 15: Cab Fare and a Bottle of Penicillin

Alan gives Lyndsey the option of choosing between him and Larry. Meanwhile, Jenny fears that she and Brooke are growing apart.

Episode 240 - Season 11, Episode 16: How to Get Rid of Alan Harper

Walden suspects his new girlfriend is cheating on him. Meanwhile, Alan gets even more intertwined in Lyndsey and Larry’s relationship when he starts dating Larry’s sister, Gretchen (guest star Kimberly Williams-Paisley).

Episode 241 - Season 11, Episode 17: Welcome Home Jake

Lyndsey discovers that Alan is sleeping with Larry’s sister, Gretchen. Meanwhile, Walden struggles with telling Barry (guest star Clark Duke) to find his own place.

Episode 242 - Season 11, Episode 18: West Side Story

Walden gets an invitation to his ex-girlfriend’s boutique opening. Meanwhile, Gretchen wants to spend more time at Alan’s (aka Jeff Strongman) house. Brooke D’Orsay returns as Walden’s ex-girlfriend Kate.

Episode 243 - Season 11, Episode 19: Lan Mao Shi Zai Wuding Shang

Walden reconnects with Kate and is sure she’s “The One” – that is, until he meets Vivian (guest star Mila Kunis – That ‘70s Show, Black Swan), a beautiful, free-spirited world traveler who shows up on his doorstep. Feeling an instant connection with Vivian, he soon becomes convinced that she’s “The One.” Meanwhile, Alan and Gretchen grow closer.

Episode 244 - Season 11, Episode 20: Lotta Delis in Little Armenia

Alan stumbles upon an opportunity to make money. Meanwhile, Walden has to address his co-dependency issues.

Episode 245 - Season 11, Episode 21: Dial 1-900-Mix-A-Lot

Alan’s girlfriend, Gretchen, insists that he confess his true identity to Larry. Meanwhile, Walden goes on a road trip with Jenny and Barry to see his first car.

Episode 246 - Season 11, Episode 22: Oh Wald-E Good Times Ahead

Alan confesses his true identity to Larry and has to face the consequences on the Season Eleven Finale. Guest star Kimberly Williams-Paisley returns as Alan’s fiancée Gretchen, alongside her real-life husband Brad Paisley who makes a cameo appearance.

Episode 247 - Season 12, Episode 1: The Ol' Mexican Spinach

On the twelfth season premiere, Walden decides to reprioritize his life with Alan’s help, following a Halloween health scare. Aisha Tyler guest stars as Walden’s lawyer.

Episode 248 - Season 12, Episode 2: A Chic Bar in Ibiza

When Walden asks Alan to sign a pre-nuptial agreement, Alan gets offended and has second thoughts about getting married. Michael Bolton returns as himself.

Episode 249 - Season 12, Episode 3: Glamping in a Yurt

Alan and Walden have a meeting with an adoption social worker (guest star Maggie Lawson) that hinges on them being convincing as a loving couple. Scrambling to make the beach house presentable, their plans are put in jeopardy when Lyndsey (recurring guest star Courtney-Thorne-Smith) returns after 60 days in rehab.

Episode 250 - Season 12, Episode 4: Thirty-eight Sixty-two Thirty-eight

Walden and Alan meet a birth mother who’s considering them to adopt her baby. Maggie Lawson guest stars as a social worker helping Walden and Alan adopt a child.

Episode 251 - Season 12, Episode 5: Oontz. Oontz. Oontz.

Walden decides to foster a six-year-old boy, but begins to doubt himself when they don’t bond like he expected. Edan Alexander joins the cast as Louis, the foster child.

Episode 252 - Season 12, Episode 6: Alan Shot a Little Girl

When Alan realizes that Louis thinks he’s cool, he starts breaking Walden’s rules in order to stay that way. Series star Jon Cryer directs.

Episode 253 - Season 12, Episode 7: Sex with an Animated Ed Asner

Alan and Walden befriend three moms at a kids’ gym, but things get complicated when Walden becomes attracted to one of them. Meanwhile, Alan’s invited along for a wild girls’ night out with a group of moms.

Episode 254 - Season 12, Episode 8: Family Bublé Deep-Fried Turkey

Walden and Alan are determined to convince Louis that Santa Claus is real. Melanie Lynskey returns as Walden’s stalker, Rose.

Episode 255 - Season 12, Episode 9: Bouncy Bouncy Bouncy Lyndsey

Walden discovers how challenging it is to be intimate with women with his foster son, Louis, in the house. Also, Herb (recurring guest star Ryan Stiles) asks Alan if he can go on a date with Lyndsey.

Episode 256 - Season 12, Episode 10: Here I Come Pants!

Alan takes it upon himself to help Walden keep Louis after the social worker, Ms. McMartin, discovers that he and Walden are not really a gay couple.

Episode 257 - Season 12, Episode 11: For Whom the Booty Calls!

Walden joins a group for adoptive fathers, and finds it to be a nice escape from Alan.

Episode 258 - Season 12, Episode 12: A Beer-Battered Rip-Off

When Alan breaks up with their social worker to get back together with Lyndsey, Walden worries it might affect Louis’s adoption.

Episode 259 - Season 12, Episode 13: Boompa Loved His Hookers

Walden fears that if he breaks up with Ms. McMartin, it will jeopardize his adoption of Louis. Also, Alan hesitates when Lyndsey asks him to move in with her.

Episode 260 - Season 12, Episode 14: Don't Give a Monkey a Gun

After they sign their divorce papers, Walden offers Alan the gift of his choice, but when Alan chooses something selfish and impractical, it puts his relationship with Lyndsey on the line.

Episode 261 - Season 12, Episode 15: Of Course He's Dead Part 1 and 2

Charlie Harper is alive. Or is he? Find out in the special one-hour series finale. Surprise guest stars appear in the conclusion of the successful comedy’s twelfth and final season.

Seasons

Season 1 , Season 2 , Season 3 , Season 4 , Season 5 , Season 6 , Season 7 , Season 8 , Season 9 , Season 10 , Season 11 , Season 12

More movies and TV shows at the Canadian TV Listings Guide..

In order to keep our service free we display advertising and may earn affiliate fees for purchases you make on external sites that we partner with.
All content is © 2024 On TV Tonight unless pertaining to advertisers, companies, studios, movies and TV series listed on this site.