My Wife & Kids Season 1 - Complete Season 1 and Episode Guide

My Wife & Kids Season 1 Episodes

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Season 1 Episode Guide

Episode 1 - Season 1, Episode 1: Pilot

It wasn't all that long ago that Michael Kyle had life all figured out. He married his high school sweetheart, had three beautiful kids and, while she stayed at home with the children, he went out and made a living. But somewhere along the line, things spun out of control.

Episode 1 - Pilot

Episode 2 - Making the Grade

When Jr. forges an "A" on his report card, his parents don't let on that they're aware of his scheme. Instead, they lavish praise and attention on him, hoping to "guilt" him into confessing.

Episode 2 - Season 1, Episode 2: The Truth Hurts

The issue of telling the whole truth to each other comes up when Michael suspects his family is being less than forthcoming in various matters.

Episode 3 - A Little Romance

Keenen Ivory Wayans guest stars as Michael's brother, Ken, who drops by for a visit with his latest, sexy girlfriend, at a time when Michael and Jay are frustrated with the lack of spontaneity in their love lives.

Episode 3 - Season 1, Episode 3: Of Breasts and Basketball

Michael feels old and acts like a sore loser when he can't beat Jr. Kyle at basketball. Meanwhile, Claire, who thinks the best way to impress boys is to have bigger breasts, buys a padded bra.

Episode 4 - He Said, She Said

While each asking the other to do something, Michael and Jay completely tune each other out and find themselves in the tricky position of trying to remember what they were supposed to do.

Episode 4 - Season 1, Episode 4: Grassy Knoll

When Michael and Jay realize that Jr. has been smoking marijuana, they provide him with an unforgettable night filled with fun and creative mind games. Meanwhile, Kady is disappointed that her big sister, Claire, won't spend time with her; and, to prevent their out-of-style clothes from being given away, Michael and Jay promise to wear the outfits for a week.

Episode 5 - Breaking Up and Breaking In

Michael develops a fast friendship with Claire's boyfriend, which he maintains even after the relationship ends -- much to Claire's chagrin. Jr. finds himself in an uncomfortable predicament after spending too much quality time with himself.

Episode 5 - Season 1, Episode 5: Making the Grade

When Jr. forges an "A" on his report card, his parents don't let on that they're aware of his scheme. Instead, they lavish praise and attention on him, hoping to "guilt" him into confessing.

Episode 6 - Season 1, Episode 6: Working It

When nothing seems to motivate Jr. to improve his math grades, Michael hires a young and very pretty tutor to inspire the young man, sending him into a tailspin of love. Meanwhile, Jay wants to feel closer to Claire who starts acting out, as she finds herself caught between being a little girl and a young lady.

Episode 6 - Of Breasts and Basketball

Michael feels old and acts like a sore loser when he can't beat Jr. Kyle at basketball. Meanwhile, Claire, who thinks the best way to impress boys is to have bigger breasts, buys a padded bra.

Episode 7 - Grassy Knoll

Episode 7 - Season 1, Episode 7: He Said, She Said

While each asking the other to do something, Michael and Jay completely tune each other out and find themselves in the tricky position of trying to remember what they were supposed to do.

Episode 8 - Season 1, Episode 8: Snapping and Sniffing

Jr. is getting picked on at school by a bully and Michael tells him he should fight back with words. Meanwhile, Jay turns herself into a do-it-all supermom after Michael says that she is neglecting the family.

Episode 8 - Working It

Episode 9 - The Truth Hurts

The issue of telling the whole truth to each other comes up when Michael suspects his family is being less than forthcoming in various matters.

Episode 9 - Season 1, Episode 9: Breaking Up and Breaking It

Episode 10 - Snapping and Sniffing

Episode 10 - Season 1, Episode 10: A Little Romance

Episode 11 - Season 1, Episode 11: Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

When Michael's accountant dies unexpectedly, Michael examines his own life. He buys a motorcycle on impulse, and a hairpiece, in a misguided effort to live life to its fullest.

Episode 11 - Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

When Michael's accountant dies unexpectedly, Michael examines his own life. He buys a motorcycle on impulse, and a hairpiece, in a misguided effort to live life to its fullest.

Episode 12 - Failure to Communicate

In order to achieve stress-free visits, Jay wants Michael to find a way for his parents (guest stars Denise Nichols and Charlie Robinson) to start speaking to each other again. Meanwhile, Jr. wants to get it on with his new cheerleader girlfriend, but Michael insists that he get to know her first and treat her like a lady.

Episode 12 - Season 1, Episode 12: Failure to Communicate

Episode 13 - Season 2, Episode 1: Mom's Away, Pt. 1

Michael is left in charge of the house when Janet leaves to tend to her sick mother, and must contend with multiple problems.

Episode 14 - Season 2, Episode 2: Mom's Away, Pt. 2

Family issues are keeping Mike busy.

Episode 15 - Season 2, Episode 3: No Rules

The household becomes unbearable when Michael decides to let the kids do as they please.

Episode 16 - Season 2, Episode 4: Perfect Dad

Fed up with Michael's parenting style, the children confront their father with a description of the ideal dad.

Episode 17 - Season 2, Episode 5: Thru Thick and Thin

When Janet returns, Michael remains silent about her obvious weight gain.

Episode 18 - Season 2, Episode 6: He Heard, She Heard

Michael looks to teach Claire a lesson after she sneaks out of the house and uses Kady as an accomplice.

Episode 19 - Season 2, Episode 7: Michael's Garden

Janet convinces Michael to have a procedure during a physical examination.

Episode 20 - Season 2, Episode 8: Let Them Eat Pie

The kids get more than they bargained for after Jr. dares Claire to eat Michael's slice of lemon meringue pie.

Episode 21 - Season 2, Episode 9: Jay Gets Fired

After a bad business decision that costs Jay her job, she becomes a homemaker.

Episode 22 - Season 2, Episode 10: The Whole World Is Watching

Michael and Janet's romantic overtures are seen on the Internet after Jr. gets new computer equipment.

Episode 23 - Season 2, Episode 11: Letting Go

Kady treats the school hamster that Michael accidentally killed as though it is still alive; Michael catches Claire in a lie.

Episode 24 - Season 2, Episode 12: Learning to Earn It

Michael is thrilled when the children start their own businesses after squandering their allowances in one day.

Episode 25 - Season 2, Episode 13: Quality Time

Marriage counselors back Michael's belief that he's entitled to some time alone after spending time with Janet, much to her dismay.

Episode 26 - Season 2, Episode 14: Get Out

Michael tries to get his always-tardy family dressed and out the door to a wedding within just 15 minutes.

Episode 27 - Season 2, Episode 15: Road Trip

A family trip to Paul Revere's house tests everyone's nerves.

Episode 28 - Season 2, Episode 16: Table for Too Many, Pt. 1

Michael is disillusioned about eating out after Janet convinces him to go to a Japanese restaurant.

Episode 29 - Season 2, Episode 17: Table for Too Many, Pt. 2

Michael loses his cool when he and the family head to a Japanese restaurant for dinner.

Episode 30 - Season 2, Episode 18: Double Date

Michael agrees to let Claire go on her first date with Tony, but only on condition that it is a double date with Janet and himself.

Episode 31 - Season 2, Episode 19: Papa Said Knock You Out

Junior asks Michael for boxing lessons so he can protect his sister's honor.

Episode 32 - Season 2, Episode 20: Return of the Wall

Michael steps in to save Kady's soccer team from Janet's overbearing coaching style.

Episode 33 - Season 2, Episode 21: Working Relationship

Michael seeks advice from Junior on how to handle Janet's office persona; the family re-enacts scenes from the movie 'E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial.'

Episode 34 - Season 2, Episode 22: Jr. Kyle, Boy Genius

Janet and Michael are astounded when their often dim-witted son shines on an IQ test, ranking him as a genius.

Episode 35 - Season 2, Episode 23: Back Story

After the children tease him about getting old, Michael pretends to injure his back playing Twister so they will have to cater to his every whim.

Episode 36 - Season 2, Episode 24: Make Over

An encounter with Michael's stunning ex-girlfriend prompts Janet to get a makeover; on a dare, Junior tries to steal a bra from the girls' locker room.

Episode 37 - Season 2, Episode 25: The Bowling Show

Michael bowls against his archenemy Stu Tyler (Larry Miller); Trekkies at the bowling alley believe Claire is a Romulan queen.

Episode 38 - Season 2, Episode 26: Jr. Gets His License

After getting his driver's license, Jr. buys a clunker instead of the practical car Michael picked out for him.

Episode 39 - Season 2, Episode 27: The Anniversary, Pt. 1

Janet thinks Michael plans to golf on their anniversary, but he arranges to have Brian McKnight sing for them at a surprise ceremony to renew their vows.

Episode 40 - Season 2, Episode 28: The Anniversary, Pt. 2

Janet thinks Michael plans to golf on their anniversary, but he arranges to have Brian McKnight sing for them at a surprise ceremony to renew their vows.

Episode 41 - Season 3, Episode 1: The Kyle's Go to Hawaii Pt. 1

The Kyles are leaving for their family vacation on Hawaii, but instead of taking only one flight straight to the island, Michael thought it would be a good idea to make a quick tour around the country, so they make stops at New York, Chicago, Denver and other cities before they get to Hawaii (two days later). When they finally get there, Michael's luggage gets lost and they're forced to take a master suite because their reservation expired. While Michael wants to make it a romantic and resting trip, Jay wants to get to know place, and drags the entire family on a historical tour - except for Michael, who chose to sleep in.

Episode 42 - Season 3, Episode 2: The Kyle's Go to Hawaii Pt. 2

Michael and Janet decide to go out on a romantic dinner, leaving their kids all alone. Claire and Jr. fight over who'll have to stay in the room babysitting for Kady, but Claire lets her brother get out of the duty, after all it's not often he gets a date. Jr. has a memorable night on the beach with Leilani, a native girl. Kady and Claire decide to spend their times on the hotel's spa, while at the dinner table Jay and Michael both struggle to say no to the temptations they met - a female underwear model and a male chest/abs model. When they go back to the hotel, they find their three kids resting in peace. Kady and Claire are glowing like never before, and Jr. has the biggest smile on his face.

Episode 43 - Season 3, Episode 3: The Kyle's Go to Hawaii Pt. 3

A mad scramble ensues when Michael finds out that the family's flight home from Hawaii leaves much earlier than he thought, but matters are complicated when a love-smitten Jr. insists on staying with his new love, Leilani. Meanwhile Kady refuses to leave without her beloved doll, Little Pippy, and Claire has to go to extremes to keep her parents from finding out about her exorbitant hotel charges.

Episode 44 - Season 3, Episode 4: Samba Story

Tired of the same dinner-and-a-movie routine, Jay convinces Michael to take dancing lessons to spice up their relationship. At first reluctant, Jay's argument that wins Michael over is that he better go to those lessons or else she'll shut down "pantyville". When they get there, only more problems waits for Michael. The samba instructor is all over Jay, which makes him so jealous he has the guy deported. The new instructor, however, is a very attractive woman who is all over Michael, making Jay jealous now. They decide to quit the samba lessons after all and spice up their marriage in their own way.

Episode 45 - Season 3, Episode 5: Diary of a Mad Teen

While making Claire's bed, Jay finds her diary hidden under the mattress. She can't resist the temptation of reading it and is quite shocked to learn that her daughter is thinking about taking the next step with Tony. She has a heart-to-heart talk with Claire, about the consequences of pursuing hr hormonal desires. Meanwhile, Michael is scheduled for an appointment with the eye doctor even though he insists there's nothing wrong with his sight (doesn't matter than he can't even read the paper without squishing his eyes).

Episode 46 - Season 3, Episode 6: Claire's New Boyfriend

After Michael admits liking Claire's boyfriend, Tony, she dumps him. The poor kid is devastated, and since Michael likes him so much he decides he's going to help Tony win Claire back - specially after seeing her new boyfriend, Jason (or "1040 EZ" as he likes to call himself). The results aren't good, so Michael has a heart-to-heart with Claire. He explains to her that Jason isn't good to her, and any men who are with her should treat her like the princess she is. Since the talk doesn't show any results either, Michael decides to act like he likes Jason and see if that makes Claire dislike him. Luckily, Claire comes back to her senses and gets back together with Tony.

Episode 47 - Season 3, Episode 7: Crouching Mother, Hidden Father

Jay volunteered to be the Director for Kady's kindergarten class play, but due to illness she is forced to step away from the production, leaving it all on the hands of Michael – for the children's salvation, because Jay was way too competitive.

Episode 48 - Season 3, Episode 8: The Fighting Kyles

Sick and tired of listening to their kids' fights, Michael and Janet act like they are fighting themselves so Jr. and Claire can see how annoying it is and quit it. But the three Kyle children get the wrong idea and think their parents are splitting up, and try their best to bond them and end the fake fights.

Episode 49 - Season 3, Episode 9: Sister Story

Michael's sister Kelly is coming over for the weekend, which freaks Jay out because every time Kelly comes over she overstays her welcome and always gets on Jay's nerves. This time is no different, with Kelly constantly throwing on Jay's face that she is fatter than her, a worse cook than her and even tries to make her look like a bad singer, even though Jay can sing wonderfully. Things heat up when Kelly brings up Sharon, Michael's old girlfriend and Kelly's best friend. The two women get into an argument and it's up to Michael to break them up. He pulls it, and Kelly and Jay finally get along. But for how long?

Episode 50 - Season 3, Episode 10: Jr.'s Dating Dilemma

Michael decides to help Junior on his women approach techniques, seeing that his son has absolutely no clue on how to behave around women. His advice consists on primarily having women say "really?", which is the key for a successful approach. When Jr. tests Michael's advice on one of Claire friends, he's surprised that it works, and even gets the girl to agree on going on a school dance with him. But Jr. was just testing her so he could ask the hottest girl on school out, which he does (and she accepts, on a move to make her ex-boyfriend jealous). Claire's friend is crushed, and Michael now has to teach him how to apologize properly to a woman.

Episode 51 - Season 3, Episode 11: Jay the Artist

Feeling that she has no space and time of her own due to home duties, Jay decides to paint. The result is a portrait of Michael based on Michelangelo's David, which makes Michael feel a little bit "diminished". They start an argument over it, which ends on Michael finally agreeing on letting Jay show her work at a friend's art gallery - with a "big" change, that is. Meanwhile, Michael renews acquaintances with old buddy Steve, while the kids are encouraged to develop their artistic abilities as well. Claire designs clothes, Kady plays the piano and Junior, like his mother, decides to paint.

Episode 52 - Season 3, Episode 12: Chair Man of the Board

Michael's old friend Tommy is coming over and Michael is very excited because he and Tommy used to compete for everything. But his excitement soon turns into awkwardness when Tommy shows up in a wheelchair and Michael doesn't know how to act with the situation. Tommy decides to take advantage of that until they have a talk in which Tommy asks Michael to treat him like he used to, because despite the wheelchair he's the same guy that used to race Michael for anything. Meanwhile, Claire is caught shoplifting and gets grounded for it. When she confronts Kady about who put the nail polishers in her purse she feels so guilty she confesses to their parents that Claire didn't do it.

Episode 53 - Season 3, Episode 13: Open Your Heart

Jay decides to attend an "Open Your Heart" seminar for struggling couples, even though she and Michael are happier than ever. Her excuse is "prevention", but Michael warns her not to try fixing something that isn't broken. At the seminar, they are teased against each other and stop talking to one another. It takes Kady suffering an accident at school for them to realize how important communication between them really is. Meanwhile, Michael wants his children to learn the value of money and tells Jr. to start his own business.

Episode 54 - Season 3, Episode 14: Michael's Tribe

Michael (aka: Chief Bald Eagle) is recruited to camp out with Kady and her friends and teach them Native American lore. Meanwhile, Clare and "the new Tony" plan to stay out all night themselves: they're plotting to sneak out to a "rave."

Episode 55 - Season 3, Episode 15: Blackout

Michael wants some time alone in the house and makes a deal with Jay for her and the kids to get out of the house. But of course it doesn't come as easy as he hoped. He has to pay for Claire to agree on going to the mall and is forced to watch The Little Mermaid with Kady for the hundredth time. He switches the movie to Gremlins, which scares the death out of the poor girl, and when the power goes off Claire freaks out about losing her entire work on the computer. In the end, the power failure ends up bringing the Kyles closer together.

Episode 56 - Season 3, Episode 16: Man of the Year

Jay nominates Michael for the "Small Businessman of the Year" award and he assumes he's going to win it (especially after a golfing buddy on the organization's board tells him: "If my vote were the only one that counted, you'd be a shoo-in"). Meanwhile, Claire helps herself to items from Jay's makeup bag once too often.

Episode 57 - Season 3, Episode 17: Jr.'s Risky Business Pt. 1

As a very impressed Michael sees it, his son's girlfriend, Vanessa is an absolute prize: "She's beautiful, smart, personable and polite... you guys have nothing in common," he tells Jr. But there's something about her that rubs Jay the wrong way. Elsewhere in the courtship department, Kady's similarly smart and personable gentleman caller is a budding piano prodigy named Franklin. As for Claire, all she's courting is a severe case of nerves: the PSATs are coming up and her face has broken out in hives.

Episode 58 - Season 3, Episode 18: Jr.'s Risky Business Pt. 2

After walking in on Jr. and his girlfriend having sex on his bed, Michael decides that he and Junior can no longer live under the same roof and throws his son out. Feeling sympathetic for her baby, Jay opposes to Michael's attitude, but at the same time agrees the boy needs a severe punishment. She had Jr. stay on a tent in the backyard until she can cool things down with Michael, who only realizes he might be estranging his son for good after Vanessa has a woman-to-woman talk with Jay. Michael lets Jr. move back, remembering that he once was in the same position as Jr.

Episode 59 - Season 3, Episode 19: Jury Duty

Michael and Jay are asked to serve jury duty together. Michael's elected foreman and wants to move on the trial quickly so he can get home to watch the "Godfather" marathon on TV. But Jay won't vote in guilty because she thinks there has to be a debate first. Thanks to that, Michael ends up missing the marathon, and has to rent the videos to catch up with the movie. At the video store, he meets an insurance salesman whom he mistakes for a mobster, and is convinced that the mob is after him due to the case. The case ends up being dismissed before they can vote, and Jay is disappointed that Michael wouldn't back her up but has her revenge when Michael acts like a fool.

Episode 60 - Season 3, Episode 20: Here Come Da Judge

When Jr and Claire find a lost wallet containing $500, it's time for a session of "family court" to decide who gets the money. Meanwhile, Claire's boyfriend Tony induces her to become a vegetarian.

Episode 61 - Season 3, Episode 21: Claire's Permit

Claire gets her driving permit, but Michael won't lend her the car because he doesn't think she can drive very well. Nevertheless, Claire steals the car keys thinking if she goes out really quickly while her parents are gone they will never notice. Unfortunately, she drives by them on her way to meet her friends, and Michael decides to teach her a lesson on the Michael Kyle style: stealing the car and making Clare feel guilty about it.

Episode 62 - Season 3, Episode 22: Sharon's Picture

Jay gets mad at Michael after finding a photo of an attractive former girlfriend among his things. Franklin has trouble admitting that his little sister Aretha is an outstanding singer.

Episode 63 - Season 3, Episode 23: Tee for Too Many

Jay decides to spend more quality time with Michael - by watching him play golf. Meanwhile, Jr., who only wants to go to college because Vanessa's going, asks Franklin for help with the application essay.

Episode 64 - Season 3, Episode 24: The Big Bang Theory

Michael and Jay panic when Claire reveals that she and Tony have decided to have sex. Her parents try by all means to change their minds and stop them, unsuccessfully. When the day and time comes, their find out Claire has sneaked out of the house and panic.

Episode 65 - Season 3, Episode 25: Not So Hostile Takeover

Claire comes home with the exciting news that she was invited to senior prom. Jay is excited about it and volunteers to chaperone at the dance, in order to keep Claire safe from her date, a senior quarterback. But Jay's exaggerated excitement makes Claire feel uncomfortable, especially when her parents are crowned queen and king of the prom. Michael tells Claire that she shouldn't be upset about it because Jay never attended her own prom as she was giving birth to Junior that night, and so Claire lets her mom enjoy her moment.

Episode 66 - Season 3, Episode 26: Graduation Pt. 1

Jr.'s graduation is coming up, and he breaks the news to his family that he wants to go to college. At first shocked, Michael decides to help him make a good interview, but his anxiety and lack of good sense makes him look like a complete moron. He even tries to bride the interviewer, when he's finally asked to leave Jr. alone. The kid does reasonably well. A few days later a letter arrives at the Kyles, saying that Jr. got accepted but has to take summer school classes. Meanwhile, Clare wears a blond wig to call her parents attention, thinking she has been forgotten now that Jr. is on the spot. And Franklin applies to the soon available son spot on the Kyle family.

Episode 67 - Season 3, Episode 27: Graduation Pt. 2

Junior finally graduates, and his parents give him a trip to Japan as a gift – and as a way to separate Junior and Vanessa, who are planning on moving in together and getting married as soon as they start college. Both Kady and Clare admit their sadness on Junior leaving, and Michael and Jay feel proud of having raised a semi-successful child. They go out to relive some of their memories and when they come back late at night they find Junior and Vanessa sitting in the kitchen. He's decided not to go to Japan anymore. Vanessa is pregnant.

Episode 68 - Season 4, Episode 1: From Dummy to Daddy

After hearing the shocking news that their son Junior is going to become a father, Michael and Jay freak out. They try to talk with him and help him realize he can't support a family living in their garage and having no job, so Michael offers him a job at his firm. Due to Michael's teasing with the boy, he gets late for his first day and Michael fires him after his second tardiness. But seeing that his son needs all the help he can get, Michael gives him another chance. Meanwhile, Tony feels guilty about having spicy thoughts about Claire and Franklyn is still out for Junior's spot on the Kyle family.

Episode 69 - Season 4, Episode 2: The Sweet Hairafter

Michael meets his friend Jimmy at the golf club and is impressed with how much hair he's grown with the help of some "miracle" pills called "Come Hair Now". As he starts to take them in overdose, weird stripes of hair rise from his chronically bald head. He's jealous of his hair and won't let anyone touch it. He also starts to get paranoiac that Jay is trying to kill him after they make a life insurance, but turns out it was just one of the side effects of the pill. Meanwhile, Kady becomes very jealous of Claire when she volunteers to be on the big sister program.

Episode 70 - Season 4, Episode 3: Jr. Executive

Michael wants Jr. to learn the family business by starting at the bottom, so he assigns Jr. to do menial jobs around Kyle Trucking. Jr., however, decides to use the fact that he's the boss' son to his advantage and convinces other employees to do his work for him. Meanwhile, Claire arranges a secret date with a guy she met on the Internet in a Shakespeare chat room.

Episode 71 - Season 4, Episode 4: Jay Goes to School

Jay decides to go to college and get her psychology degree, which Michael fully reprehends her for. He doesn't want her to put the household in second because it would jeopardize the entire family and eventually could ruin their marriage. After going to a real psychologist, Michael and Jay come to terms and she agrees to scale back her classes as he decides to let her pursue her dream. Meanwhile, Junior's friends turn his old crib into some sort of vehicle.

Episode 72 - Season 4, Episode 5: Meet the Parents

Vanessa's parents come over the Kyles house to discuss the future baby's situation. Michael is outraged with the demands from the Scotts, but Calvin's size makes Michael think twice before taking any drastic measures. They take the Scotts out for dinner and are left with the bill. Realizing they have a couple of con artists on their hands, Michael and Jay stand up for themselves and set the baby's true needs - which don't include a new house for the Scotts as Calvin wanted.

Episode 73 - Season 4, Episode 6: He's Having a Baby

Worried about Junior's fathering skills, Michael decides to enroll him in a parenting course. Junior is reluctant to attend, so Michael gives him a water balloon that Junior should keep for a week as if it was the baby. If it breaks, he'll have to attend the course. Michael doesn't let Junior have it easy, and Junior insists that more than wanting to teach him how to be a good parent, Michael doesn't have any trust in him.

Episode 74 - Season 4, Episode 7: The Funeral

The Kyles are willing to support Michael's inconsolable employee, Larry, who can't get over losing his 103-year-old grandmother. But Larry goes overboard when, at the funeral, he asks little Kady to kiss his "Grammy" goodbye and for Jay to sing his beloved grandmother's favorite R&B song.

Episode 75 - Season 4, Episode 8: Ultrasound

The Kyles and Vanessa's parents escort her to her first ultrasound. When asked if they wanted to know the baby's sex, Michael is the only one who stands out with a positive answer. Obsessed with knowing whether he's having a grandson or a granddaughter, he tries by all means to have the doctor tell him. He finally assumes it's a boy, and tells Jay and eventually the rest of the family. But in the end the situation reverses as they all confirm with the doctor the real sex of the future Kyle and leave Michael out in the rain. Meanwhile, Franklyn freaks out with the idea of losing Kady to "Smilin' Willie" and tries to learn how to be a dance master.

Episode 76 - Season 4, Episode 9: Marathon

When Jay works hard to get in shape and run a marathon, Michael thinks that, since he's a man, he too can run the marathon - without any real training. Meanwhile, bible-quoting Tony asks the gorgeous Claire to dress "ugly" so he won't feel so turned on.

Episode 77 - Season 4, Episode 10: While Out

Much to Claire's delight, Michael and Jay forget to recite their house rules — "No friends, no fires, no freedom, no fun" — before going out for the night. As a result, Claire decides to throw a party so she can get in with the so-called right crowd. Things get raucous when someone spikes the punch and a drunken Tony fulfills a fantasy and streaks down the street naked.

Episode 78 - Season 4, Episode 11: Michael's Band

When Michael's old friend and former bandmate, Johnny "Saxophone" Watson, comes to town for a gig, it turns out Johnny's piano player can't make it. Michael eagerly accepts an invitation to take the man's place, but refuses to admit that his musical skills have gotten rusty. Meanwhile, love is blind when it comes to Franklin realizing that his little sister, Aretha, is a much better singer than the tone-deaf Kady.

Episode 79 - Season 4, Episode 12: The Lady Is Not a Tramp

Michael's imagination takes off when he finds a package of condoms in daughter Claire's backpack — the same day her boyfriend, Tony, is returning from a month in the desert. Annoyed that her father is jumping to conclusions, Claire decides to give him a taste of his own unique brand of discipline. Meanwhile Jr. accidentally gives Kady his pet dog's medicine — and Kady pretends to turn into a dog.

Episode 80 - Season 4, Episode 13: Of Mice and Man

When Jay finds mouse droppings, she demands that Michael hire an exterminator to get rid of them, but, as usual, Michael is determined to handle it himself. Meanwhile, Claire is also freaked out by a rodent when she accidentally runs over a squirrel while driving home.

Episode 81 - Season 4, Episode 14: Moving On Out

Tired of living in the garage, Jr. looks for an apartment and enlists his buddy, John, to be a co-signer… except that John has to dress up and pose as Jr.'s grandmother for the realtor. When Jr. and Vanessa's families come to visit the couple's new apartment, Jay is shocked to find that her new grandchild might be living in a run-down building with yellow police tape around the entrance.

Episode 82 - Season 4, Episode 15: Candy Wars

When Kady wants to spend some quality time with her father, she enlists Michael's help in the school candy drive. But when the father of last year's winner claims he can prevail once again, a competitive Michael loses sight of helping Kady and commits to selling an exorbitant number of chocolate bars.

Episode 83 - Season 4, Episode 16: Jr. Sells His Car

Jr. restores his prized 1964 Impala, but then he and Vanessa surprise everyone when they decide to sell it in order to have money for their new baby. Meanwhile, Franklin seeks advice from Michael on how to act more like a normal kid.

Episode 84 - Season 4, Episode 17: The Anniversary Present

Michael and Jay try to hide their disappointment when they don't receive the wedding anniversary gifts each are expecting from each other. Meanwhile, with Franklin's help, novice cook Claire hopes to prepare a gourmet dinner for her parents' anniversary present.

Episode 85 - Season 4, Episode 18: Illegal Smile

The day after an anti-wrinkle injection goes awry for Michael and he ends up with an unnatural expression, he has to fight a traffic ticket in court. The judge is angered by his frozen grin and sentences him to a night in jail, where Michael's cell mate, Big Guy, thinks Michael is coming on to him since he keeps smiling at him.

Episode 86 - Season 4, Episode 19: Outbreak Monkey

When an ecstatic Michael scores a ticket to see basketball star LeBron James play at Madison Square Garden, his excitement quickly turns to paranoia when, just days before the game, everyone in the Kyle household – except Michael – comes down with the flu. To ensure that he won't miss the game, he goes to absurd extremes to keep from getting sick, including spraying disinfectant on his family and using a ten-foot grabber to hand Jay her orange juice.

Episode 87 - Season 4, Episode 20: Empty Nest, Pt. 1

During a rare occasion when Michael and Jay have the house to themselves, they find themselves reminiscing about the fun times they've had with their kids and various friends. Some of these memorable moments include Jay's obsession with her weight and Michael's visit to a proctologist.

Episode 88 - Season 4, Episode 21: Empty Nest, Pt. 2

Episode 89 - Season 4, Episode 22: Calvin Comes to Stay

Calvin, Vanessa's gregarious father, has an argument with his wife, Jasmine, gets kicked out of the house and moves in with the Kyles, against their wishes. When he starts eating everything in sight and keeps everyone awake with his loud snoring, a frustrated Michael comes up with a clever plan to get Calvin back home.

Episode 90 - Season 4, Episode 23: Calvin Goes to Work

When the overwhelmingly strong and gregarious Calvin, Vanessa's dad, begs Michael to give him a job at Kyle Trucking, Michael does so reluctantly and his worst fears are realized. Calvin's way of dealing with customers and merchandise leaves a little to be desired, and now Michael must find a way to get rid of the man without getting himself hurt in the process. Meanwhile, Claire gets Franklin to help her with her science paper.

Episode 91 - Season 4, Episode 24: Romantic Night

Wanting to spend quiet time together, Michael plans a romantic evening with Jay at an exclusive hotel. Then, when Jr. mistakenly cancels the reservation, Michael tries to create a romantic night at home. But things take a disastrous turn when Michael hurts his head trying to shut off the water valve, Jay handcuffs them to each other – but can't find the key – and a burnt roast almost causes the house to burn down.

Episode 92 - Season 4, Episode 25: The Director

In his excitement to tape a basketball game, Michael accidentally records over a home video of Kady's first steps, which happens to be one of Jay's most cherished family moments. When Jay decides to have a family home movie night, Michael must act quickly and enlists Franklin's help to reenact that moment of Kyle family history.

Episode 93 - Season 4, Episode 26: The Maid

While Jay is away at a seminar, Michael hires a maid, Mrs. Hopkins, to look after the family. Mrs. Hopkins fulfills their every need and wants to a sweet perfection, including homemade ice cream, an immaculately clean house and handmade outfits for Claire. When Jay comes home, she appreciates Mrs. Hopkins' attention to every detail, but begins to feel that perhaps she has taken over just a bit too much.

Episode 94 - Season 4, Episode 27: Hand Model

In a twist of fate, Michael is recruited as a hand model during Claire's modeling audition. As he flaunts his newfound fame, he is careful to protect the family's new financial asset – his hands. Meanwhile Franklin feels threatened by Kady's friendship with Rachel, so, on Jr.'s advice, he takes matters into his own hands.

Episode 95 - Season 4, Episode 28: What Do You Know?

The family plays a game which shows them exactly how much they know about each other.

Episode 96 - Season 4, Episode 29: The Baby, Pt. 1

Jr. and Vanessa announce that they want to have the baby at home with the help of Summer Breeze, a midwife whose natural childbirth methods include the whole family's participation.

Episode 97 - Season 4, Episode 30: The Baby, Pt. 2

Jr. and Vanessa announce that they want to have the baby at home with the help of Summer Breeze, a midwife whose natural childbirth methods include the whole family's participation.

Episode 98 - Season 5, Episode 1: Fantasy Camp, Pt. 1

Michael can't focus on much else after learning that he'll be going to sports legend Michael Jordan's fantasy basketball camp in Las Vegas. Everyone shares his excitement – but for different reasons – and finds some reason as to why they should tag along. Once there, Michael learns that there's been a mix-up with the game schedule, so he resorts to some inventive ploys of his own to ensure he gets to play his idol.

Episode 99 - Season 5, Episode 2: Fantasy Camp, Pt. 2

Episode 100 - Season 5, Episode 3: Childcare Class

Michael fails a child-care course for grandparents, so Vanessa and Jr. refuse to let him baby-sit his grandchild.

Episode 101 - Season 5, Episode 4: Class Reunion

Michael is reluctant to attend his high-school reunion until a former rival challenges him to a dance-off.

Episode 102 - Season 5, Episode 5: The Fellowship of the Baby

When an overwhelmed Jr. thinks he is not smart enough to take care of his own son, Michael tells Jr. that "Jr., Jr." is a "magic baby," and that every time he holds him, it will make Jr. smarter. The ploy works, but in the process Jr. becomes somewhat arrogant with his new-found knowledge, so Michael brings Franklin in so that the two geniuses can match wits. Meanwhile, Kady catches Claire sneaking back into her bedroom after hours and threatens to tell their parents, unless Claire does some favors for her.

Episode 103 - Season 5, Episode 6: Poker Face

Michael advises Jr. that it's ok to spend some time away from Vanessa and the baby, but his advice misfires when Jr. invites Jay along to their all-male poker game. Michael decides, in turn, to crash Jay's all-female book club, where they're discussing the latest book by Angeline Boudreaux.

Episode 104 - Season 5, Episode 7: The Proposal

Jr. is finally ready to propose to Vanessa, but every time he tries to do so, something interrupts him, including Michael and Jay -- who are preparing to compete against each other in a karaoke.

Episode 105 - Season 5, Episode 8: Restaurant Wars

At first, Michael is skeptical that Jay can be successful at opening her own soul food restaurant. But his competitive and supportive sides emerge when the Hoos, the owners of the Chinese restaurant across the street, use sneaky tactics to put "Jay's Soooooouuuul Kitchen" out of business.

Episode 106 - Season 5, Episode 9: The Return of Bobby Shaw

Michael’s enemy, Bobby Shaw tricks Jr. into signing a contract making Jr. his slave. When Michael tries to get him out of the contract, they end up in a dance off.

Episode 107 - Season 5, Episode 10: The Wedding

Jr. and Vanessa announce that they want to get married in two weeks, Vanessa having told Jr. that she wants a small, simple wedding. Michael and Jay offer to help plan it, but instead of something simple and sweet, they plan an elaborate and expensive ceremony that includes dolphins, a castle and 751 guests. Frustrated, Vanessa tells Jr. he needs to regain control of things, forcing him to decide whether he should stand up to Michael.

Episode 108 - Season 5, Episode 11: Careful What You Wish For

When Jay wishes that Michael would give her the kind of romantic attention that she sees newlywed Vanessa getting from Jr., Michael decides to kill Jay with kindness so he can get back to watching TV and ignoring her. Meanwhile, Franklin tells Kady that he thinks he's too short and goes to great lengths to appear otherwise.

Episode 109 - Season 5, Episode 12: They Call Me El Foosay

When Vanessa innocently buys Jr. a foosball game, Jr. discovers his competitive nature and becomes obnoxious when he wins. When Michael challenges Jr. and wins, he initially wants to teach his son a lesson about being a good winner. But then when Michael continues to win, his "fatherly lesson" goes out the window and instead he becomes obsessed with playing foosball. Desperate, the Kyles have to come up with a plan to break the game's hold on Michael.

Episode 110 - Season 5, Episode 13: Study Buddy

Michael feels neglected because Jay is spending all of her time studying for her psychology final. He decides to tutor her, but his efforts cause her to fail. To make it up to her, he tries to bribe her professor to let her re-take the test. Meanwhile, when Kady thinks Franklin prefers her smart friend over her, she tries to act more "brainy."

Episode 111 - Season 5, Episode 14: Sweetheart's Day

When Jay insists that Michael buy her a present for "Sweetheart's Day," a reluctant Michael comes up with a scheme to base the price of Jay's gift on her attitude towards him at a particular moment. He shares his plan with Jr., Tony and Franklin, hoping that they will follow the lead, but the only lead is straight to trouble.

Episode 112 - Season 5, Episode 15: Silence Is Golden

Michael reluctantly accompanies Jay on a meditation weekend, where he has trouble following the rule of silence.

Episode 113 - Season 5, Episode 16: The Bahamas, Pt. 1

When the Kyles arrive at the Atlantis, Paradise Island resort in the Bahamas for their family vacation, Michael announces that all he wants to do is get some rest and relaxation-by himself. But no sooner does he settle into his lounge chair for some peace and quiet than his talkative and annoying golf buddy, Jimmy (David Alan Grier), shows up and insists that they spend time together. Michael is relieved to find a way out when Jay invites him to the isolated Magic Island so they can have some romantic fun. As their day winds down and it's time to leave, the boat never shows up to take them back and the couple find themselves stranded in the middle of nowhere.

Episode 114 - Season 5, Episode 17: The Bahamas, Pt. 2

While at the Atlantis, Paradise Island resort in the Bahamas for a family vacation, lovebirds Michael and Jay find themselves stranded on the isolated Magic Island - along with a rapidly rising tide -- and the only other person there who can help them is Michael's talkative and annoying golf buddy, Jimmy (David Alan Grier) -- who refuses to do so since they weren't willing to spend time with him when they had the chance. Meanwhile, Jr. leaves Vanessa and the baby behind so he can enjoy the resort's activities; Tony and Claire hang out at the beach bar and she realizes too late that her island drink contains alcohol; and Kady and Franklin run into his nemesis, Francesco Mumfordi.

Episode 115 - Season 5, Episode 18: The Remodel

Realizing that the garage is no longer a suitable living situation for Jr., Vanessa and the baby, Jay insists that Michael have it remodeled. When the contractor bids are too expensive for his taste, Michael decides to take on the job himself, with Jr.'s help. But when they get in over their heads, Franklin -- who happens to be a certified contractor - has to come to their rescue.

Episode 116 - Season 5, Episode 19: Michael Joins a Gym

The same day Michael realizes he can't fit into his favorite pair of vintage jeans, he runs into an old high school friend, the muscular Daryl (Terry Crews), who doesn't look any older than when Michael last saw him. He enlists Darryl's help to get him back into shape and, in the process, becomes obsessed with looking fit and buff. Meanwhile, Franklin fails his first test and fears that Kady will no longer accept him.

Episode 117 - Season 5, Episode 20: Celibacy

When Jay tells Michael that their love life will be even better if they are celibate for six months, Michael is willing to abide by her wishes, although reluctantly. Meanwhile, Franklin and Kady plant some seeds in the ground to symbolize their growing love for each other, but the seeds grow into an ingredient for a love potion that Jay uses to spice up her romantic dinner for Michael.

Episode 118 - Season 5, Episode 21: Jr.'s Cartoon

When Jr. wins a national competition for his cartoon entitled "My Wife and Kid" -- based on himself, Vanessa, the baby and the rest of the Kyle family -- it catches the attention of ABC. Michael becomes Jr.'s agent, but the meeting with the television executives goes badly, crushing Jr.'s dream opportunity, so now Michael has to find a way to rectify the situation. Meanwhile, Claire threatens to break up with Tony unless he can bring some "umph" into their relationship.

Episode 119 - Season 5, Episode 22: Michael's Sandwich

Under a time deadline to catch his flight, Michael tries to prepare his signature, masterpiece sandwich to take with him on the plane. But various family distractions delay his getting to the airport, and his beloved sandwich is searched by suspicious security guards.

Episode 120 - Season 5, Episode 23: The Graduation Day

It's Jay's college graduation day and Michael is determined to make it go flawlessly - but everything that could go wrong does, and the day seems destined for disaster. To make matters worse, Jay thinks Michael, who didn't want her to go to college in the first place, is trying to sabotage her special day.

Episode 121 - Season 5, Episode 24: Michael Sells His Business

With a lucrative bid from a large company offering to purchase Kyle Trucking, Michael convinces Jay that, if they sold their business, they'd be able to spend more quality time with Jr., Jr. and watch him grow up -- something they wish they could have done more of with their own kids. But the offer goes bust and Michael's nemesis, Bobby Shaw (Katt Williams), comes up with a surprising proposal. Meanwhile, Kady and Claire antagonize each other over who gets to spend more time in the bathroom.

Episode 122 - Season 5, Episode 25: Rv Dreams

Michael, who is determined to make record time driving from Connecticut to the Grand Canyon in a luxurious R.V., convinces his reluctant family to make the road trip so they can spend quality time together. Along the way, Michael puts the family through many misadventures -- including getting lost -- and in his haste neglects to read one of the R.V. manual's most crucial operational features.

Episode 123 - Season 5, Episode 26: The V Story

Now that the kids are almost out of their hair, Jay insists that Michael have a vasectomy so they can feel free to enjoy themselves, but Michael is reluctant to go through with the operation.

Seasons

Season 1 , Season 2 , Season 3 , Season 4 , Season 5

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