Rules of Engagement Season 5 Episodes
Season 5 Episode Guide
Episode 1 - Surro-GateJeff (Patrick Warburton) becomes concerned when he sees Russell (David Spade) and Pam (guest star Jaime Pressly), the potential new surrogate, leave the apartment building together. In an attempt to stop anything from happening, Jeff enlists the help of Timmy (Adhir Kalyan) and Jennifer (Bianca Kajlich). By the time Jennifer arrives at Russell’s apartment, it is too late. An infuriated Jeff forces Russell to confess that he has “ruined” the surrogate to Audrey (Megyn Price). Deciding that they no longer can hire Pam, Jeff and Audrey are left once again without a surrogate. Meanwhile, Adam (Oliver Hudson) spends time improving his physique.
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Episode 2 - The BankRussell (David Spade) tries to help Timmy (Adhir Kalyan) with his new crush, co-worker Allison (guest star Taryn Southern) by sending a suggestive email to her from Timmy’s computer. Allison, offended by the email, avoids Timmy until they both discover Russell's ploy. Impressed with Jeff's (Patrick Warburton) ability to manipulate an argument with Audrey (Megyn Price), Adam (Oliver Hudson) is told about Jeff's file of all of Audrey's mistakes that he stores to use in future arguments. Adam unsuccessfully tries to use Jeff’s method on Jennifer (Bianca Kajlich). At first angry by the list, Audrey soon realizes that it is a record of their life together.
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Episode 3 - Rug-Of-WarJeff (Patrick Warburton) and Audrey (Megyn Price) attend an adoption fair. Confusion quickly ensues and they are kicked out as a result, another hurdle in their attempt to have a baby. Jeff and Audrey decide to give their old rug to Adam (Oliver Hudson) and Jennifer (Bianca Kajlich). Disaster strikes while Russell (David Spade) is left alone in the office as Timmy (Adhir Kalyan) is out helping Jeff and Audrey find a new rug.
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Episode 4 - Handy ManTimmy (Adhir Kalyan) is pleased when Russell (David Spade) invites him to travel on a business trip only to discover Russell’s fear of flying. Audrey (Megyn Price) complains to Jeff (Patrick Warburton) that their marriage has lost its romance. Jeff’s attempts to rekindle the flame backfires.
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Episode 5 - Play BallWhen she realizes it’s making her miserable, Audrey (Megyn Price) contemplates quitting her job, with Jeff’s (Patrick Warburton) encouragement. Meanwhile, Timmy (Adhir Kalyan) takes his frustrations out on Russell (David Spade) after Allison (Taryn Southern)tells Timmy she wants to slow things down, in an effort to get to know each other better. Embarrassed by the story of how she and Adam (Oliver Hudson) met, Jennifer (Bianca Kajlich) comes up with a new story.
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Episode 6 - BakedAn unemployed Audrey (Megyn Price) drives Jeff (Patrick Warburton) crazy in her attempt to find her “purpose.” Russell (David Spade) once again attempts to give Timmy (Adhir Kalyan) relationship advise and tries to make him “one of the guys.” Meanwhile, Adam (Oliver Hudson) and Jennifer (Bianca Kajlich) stumble upon memorabilia while cleaning out their storage unit.
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Episode 7 - Mannequin Head BallWhen Jeff (Patrick Warburton) can’t get out of the lease for a retail space he rented for Audrey’s (Megyn Price) fleeting cookie business, he and Adam (Oliver Hudson) invent a new game involving the heads of mannequins. Audrey and Jen (Bianca Kajlich) watch the game on a security camera online and liken the men's behavior to Diane Fossey observing the gorillas. Meanwhile, Russell (David Spade) enlists Timmy's (Adhir Kalyan) help to impress a woman and they end up on a double date with Allison (guest star Taryn Southern) and the new woman.
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Episode 8 - Les-BroJoan Collins and Sara Rue guest star in this episode. Russell’s flamboyant mom (guest star Joan Collins) pays her son a visit and spends time with his assistant Timmy (Adhir Kalyan). Brenda (guest star Sara Rue), a teammate on Jeff’s (Patrick Warburton) softball team, suggests that she could be a potential surrogate for he and Audrey (Megyn Price). Written by: Gloria Calderon Kellett Directed by: Ted Wass
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Episode 9 - The Big PictureTimmy (Adhir Kalyan) begrudgingly helps Russell (David Spade) adjust to a new lifestyle once Russell’s mother cuts off his trust fund. Audrey (Megyn Price) visits Jeff (Patrick Warburton) at his office and is horrified when she finds an unflattering picture of her in the boss’ office, and attempts to steal the picture, but her plan backfires. Meanwhile, Adam (Oliver Hudson) and Jennifer (Bianca Kajlich) struggle with keeping the romance alive in their relationship. Written by: Becky Mann & Audra Sielaff Directed by: Ted Wass
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Episode 10 - Fun RunJeff (Patrick Warburton) needs to figure out how to ask his co-workers to donate money for Audrey’s (Megyn Price)10K run for charity after he’s told them not to ask him to participate anymore in their fund raisers. Meanwhile, the tables are turned on Russell (David Spade) when Heather (guest star Bree Turner), a new girl he’s interested in, seems to be blowing him off. Written by: Tom Hertz Directed by: Ted Wass
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Episode 11 - Refusing to BudgetTimmy (Adhir Kalyan) continues to help Russell (David Spade) with his budget. Audrey (Megyn Price) takes a job as a hostess at her favorite restaurant and runs into an old college classmate while on the job. Adam (Oliver Hudson) takes offense after Jen (Bianca Kajlich) tells him he talks too much.
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Episode 12 - Little Bummer BoyRussell (David Spade) finds the unexpected reason behind his negativity towards the holidays. Adam’s (Oliver Hudson) gift for Jennifer (Bianca Kajlich) goes missing and he is forced into some uncomfortable situations in order to get it back. Meanwhile Audrey (Megyn Price) tries too hard to impress the guests at Jeff’s (Patrick Warburton) office holiday party.
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Episode 13 - The Home StretchTimmy (Adhir Kalyan) and Russell (David Spade) battle for the same woman. Jeff (Patrick Warburton) fires Audrey’s (Megyn Price) pilates instructor after seeing that he is very attractive. Meanwhile, Jennifer (Bianca Kajlich) is mortified when she learns that Adam (Oliver Hudson) was never on the football team in high school.
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Episode 14 - Uh Oh It’s MagicRussell (David Spade) takes his date Jessica to a Criss Angel show (Criss Angel appears as himself), leaving Timmy (Adhir Kalyan) to babysit her son Leland (guest star Jonathan Heit). Jeff (Patrick Warburton) and Audrey (Megyn Price) spend time with their surrogate Brenda (guest star Sara Rue) and meet her girlfriend Becky. Adam (Oliver Hudson) is jealous when Jennifer (Bianca Kajlich) keeps calling on their good-looking super to do repairs in their apartment.
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Episode 15 - Singing and DancingRussell (David Spade) fulfills a lifelong dream and auditions to join Timmy’s (Adhir Kalyan) a cappella group, The Raging Toners (guest stars The SoCal VoCals). Audrey (Megyn Price) and Jeff (Patrick Warburton) start hiding out in Jen (Bianca Kajich) and Adam’s (Oliver Hudson) apartment to avoid Liz (guest star Wendi McClendon-Covey), Audrey’s annoying friend who has moved into their building.
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Episode 16 - Jeff DayAfter announcing that it's ‘Jeff Day,’ Jeff (Patrick Warburton) finds his plans have changed after the cleaning lady arrives. Meanwhile, Adam (Oliver Hudson) has to figure out why he has developed an eye twitch. Timmy (Adhir Kalyan) tries to get revenge on Russell (David Spade), by interfering with his love life.
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Episode 17 - ZygoteJeff (Patrick Warburton) and Audrey (Megyn Price) move forward with the procedure to impregnate Brenda (guest star Sara Rue) with their child. Russell (David Spade) and Timmy (Adhir Kalyan) start dating pro-basketball players. Adam (Oliver Hudson) and Jennifer (Bianca Kajlich) steal Jeff’s Omaha Steaks and then suffer the consequences.
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Episode 18 - Anniversary ChickenJeff (Patrick Warburton) remembers that his anniversary with Audrey (Megyn Price) is approaching, and believes that Audrey has forgotten. He sets out to show Audrey how great it is that he remembered, and she did not – a first in their relationship. Jen (Bianca Kajlich) agrees to go bowling with Adam (Oliver Hudson) on their date night. Timmy (Adhir Kalyan) is forced to go on a date with Russell (David Spade) and a new date (guest star) and act as a translator as she speaks Italian.
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Episode 19 - The Set UpJeff (Patrick Warburton) and Audrey (Megyn Price) set their neighbor, (guest star Wendi McLendon-Covey), up on a blind date with Jeff’s co-worker (guest star Larry Joe Campbell). Russell (David Spade) learns that Timmy (Adhir Kalyan) has a sister (guest star Melanie Kannokada). Meanwhile, Adam (Oliver Hudson) checks out a new gym, that turns out to be something different than he expected.
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Episode 20 - Beating the SystemBrenda (guest star Sara Rue) takes a pregnancy test to find out if she is pregnant with Jeff (Patrick Warburton) and Audrey’s (Megyn Price) baby. Timmy (Adhir Kalyan) and Russell (David Spade) give unsolicited advice to Jennifer (Bianca Kajlich), who is planning her wedding.
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Episode 21 - The Jeff PhotoJeff (Patrick Warburton) becomes obsessed with his looks after finding an old photograph. Russell (David Spade) reaches an all new low in dating when he hooks up with someone unexpected. Jennifer (Bianca Kajlich) and Adam (Oliver Hudson) have professional photos taken. Audrey (Megyn Price) convinces Liz (guest star Wendi McLendon-Covey) that she needs to have a fling with a man.
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Episode 22 - Double Down aka TwinsIn order to woo a girl he’s been chasing who’s an event planner, Russell (David Spade) throws Timmy (Adhir Kalyan) a party celebrating his citizenship, despite his being a citizen for over 10 years. Later at the party, Jennifer (Bianca Kajlich) causes a disturbance and, with the help of Adam (Oliver Hudson), blames two twins attending the party. Meanwhile, Audrey (Megyn Price) and Jeff (Patrick Warburton) find out that their surrogate Brenda (guest star Sara Rue) might be pregnant with twins.
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Episode 23 - The Power CoupleJeff (Patrick Warburton) gets jealous when Audrey (Megyn Price) gets a raise. Adam (Oliver Hudson) and Jennifer (Bianca Kajlich) reap the benefits over a mistaken public wedding proposal. Russell (David Spade) uses Timmy (Adhir Kalyan) to help him find out why Liz (guest star Wendi McLendon-Covey) is not interested in him.
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Episode 24 - The Last of the Red Hat LoversRussell (David Spade) is shocked when he learns he is not on the cruise he expected – “The Red Hot Ladies” Cruise. Audrey (Megyn Price) and Jeff (Patrick Warburton) employ the help of Timmy (Adhir Kalyan) to settle a disagreement that started while spending the night at Russell’s place. Jennifer (Bianca Kajlich) and Adam (Oliver Hudson) decide to have a little fun when asked to check in on Audrey and Patrick’s apartment, which is being painted.
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