Two and a Half Men Season 5 Episodes

Find out where to watch Season 5 of Two and a Half Men tonight
Overview TV Listings Seasons & Episodes Cast

Season 5 Episode Guide

Episode 1 - Large Birds, Spiders and Mom

In the fifth season premiere, Charlie and Alan try to prepare Jake for his first day of junior high school -- but they might end up traumatizing him instead.
Episode 2 - Media Room Slash Dungeon

Charlie reacts oddly after an evening with his mother. And Alan's date, Sharon (Janeane Garofalo - "The Larry Sanders Show," "The West Wing"), reacts oddly after having sex with Alan.
Episode 3 - Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo

Tired of dating vapid young women, Charlie allows Alan to introduce him to a sophisticated, intelligent municipal court judge, Linda. Unfortunately, intimidated Charlie behaves so badly at dinner that Linda refuses to see him again.
Episode 4 - City of Great Racks

In the landmark 100th episode, Charlie gets closer to consummating his relationship with Linda (recurring guest star Ming Wen), but he keeps seeing Rose's face everywhere he turns. Recurring guest star Jane Lynch appears as Dr. Freeman.
Episode 5 - Putting Swim Fins On a Cat

Charlie has to find creative ways to entertain the 4-year-old son of his girlfriend, Linda (recurring guest star Ming Wen). Meanwhile, Alan becomes a human "guinea pig."
Episode 6 - Help Daddy Find His Toenail

Charlie's girlfriend, Linda (recurring guest star Ming Wen), is embarrassed to be seen in public with him. Meanwhile, despite Alan forbidding it, Jake sneaks out to a concert.
Episode 7 - Our Leather Gear Is In the Guest Room

Charlie and Alan argue over Alan's place in the house, prompting Alan and Jake to move in with Evelyn. Recurring guest star Robert Wagner appears as Teddy, Evelyn's boyfriend.
Episode 8 - Is There a Mrs. Waffles?

Charlie finds success as a children's singing star, making Alan miserable. Guest star Richard Kind ("Spin City") appears as Artie, an executive at Charlie's record label.
Episode 9 - Tight's Good

After Evelyn and Teddy become engaged, Charlie struggles to fight his attraction to Teddy's daughter, Courtney (guest star Jenny McCarthy - "Scary Movie 3", "Dirty Love"), Charlie's soon-to-be stepsister.
Episode 10 - Kinda Like Necrophilia

While trying to help Jake get over a breakup, Alan discovers that it was Charlie who stole his high school girlfriend. Alan seeks revenge on Charlie by following the same advice Charlie dispenses to Jake.
Episode 11 - Meander to Your Dander

Seeing Alan not fully passionate about his relationship, Charlie coaches Alan in the fine art of breaking up with a woman.
Episode 12 - A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh

Rose (recurring guest star Melanie Lynskey), Charlie's lovable stalker, is back from England and takes strange care of a very sick Charlie.
Episode 13 - The Soil Is Moist

Alan dates one of his ex-wife's friends who reveals a secret about Judith's sex life. Recurring guest star Ryan Stles appears as Judith's second husband.
Episode 14 - Winky-Dink Time

Charlie goes with Jake on a double date and sets Alan up with a prostitute. Recurring guest star Melanie Lynskey appears as Rose.
Episode 15 - Rough Night In Hump Junction

Alan worries that Charlie's womanizing is out of control. Jane Lynch returns as Charlie's therapist, and Emmanuelle Vaugier returns as Charlie's former fiancée, Mia.
Episode 16 - Look At Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty

Alan plans Evelyn's wedding to Teddy (Robert Wagner), while Charlie pursues his future stepsister and Teddy's devious daughter, Courtney (Jenny McCarthy).
Episode 17 - Fish In a Drawer

A CSI team investigates a mysterious death at Charlie's house. George Eads ("CSI: Crime Scene Investigation") makes a cameo appearance.
Episode 18 - If My Hole Could Talk

Charlie finds himself attracted to Angie (recurring guest star Susan Blakely), an older woman who writes self-help books. Meanwhile, Alan and Jake battle over a school assignment.
Episode 19 - Waiting for the Right Snapper

Charlie tries to resist temptation when he meets the grown daughter of the woman he's dating (Susan Blakely) and realizes they've met before. Jane Lynch guest stars as Dr. Freeman.


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